[FlyingThePhoenix]

Hello Kimberley,

You didn't feel guilty or show remorse during the affair when you were married to him, so why confess now? As long as you are both good parents to your kids leave it alone.

If you tell him, who's going to get the blame for the marriage ending? YOU!

When kids grow up and ask why your marriage failed who's going to get the blame? YOU!

When one spouse has an affair that is there ticket out of the marriage, you didn't fight for your marriage THEN and your marriage is now OVER. If you're feeling guilty and remorse NOW, will it's a bit late for that, isn't it! Leave it alone, just be good parents.

HOW EVER!!!!!

If you blamed him solely for the failure of the marriage while you were shagging another man for a year, than confess away and set the record straight. But you'd better take 100% OWNERSHIP of your ACTIONS!

 

[FlyingThePhoenix]

Hello Kimberley,

Please explain what could possibly be tainted because I've cheated? I don't condone it, I don't want my kids to believe that is the right way to handle things in relationships. I know it was the wrong thing to do but to suggest my parenting is tainted by it just plain sucks.

You were shagging another man for a year, while still married to your husband and raising your kids together as a family; and you say your parenting skills weren't "tainted", think about it! You planned, micro-management and executed your time, between your family and your affair. You gave your special time that you should have had with your husband or your kids to the affair, so yes; I'd say your parenting skills were slightly "tainted" don't you?

Look, like I said in my last post, if your feel true guilty and true remorse NOW, after the FACT, it’s too LATE! Leave it alone, just teach your kids the true meaning of promises and vows etc. etc. and that cheating always has a HIGH PRICE!

Q. Are you and your ex-husband good parents to your kids NOW?

Q. Do you respect your ex-husband more now then when you were married and does he respect you?

 

[FlyingThePhoenix]

Hello Kimberley,

Truthfully, I felt guilty at the time when we were married but I don't now. And I have to correct you. I did fight like hell for my marriage. I BEGGED my husband to go for counseling years ago when things started going downhill. He refused. Insisted we were fine. I told him the things that made me unhappy. Nothing changed and I became more and more miserable until my feelings were gone. I do not have any regret. I believe I tried everything to save my marriage before it was too late. I do not blame him soley for all the problems. I feel terrible guilt because I fell out of love with him when some people are capable of staying in love.

WOW! strong words! I stand corrected, but only on some points though . Your remind of Candy12 thread, she too has husband like yours, and but she had EA where you had a EA/PA. She ended her EA and sought IC and just today she posted a change in her husbands attitude towards their marriage. Her words sounded like she was happy for the first time in ages. She fighting for her marriage! like you but I think she'll make it.

I'm sorry you had an affair and that requires time and energy to plan and execute, that time and energy should have been put into your marriage! You can't dispute this FACT! It's a FACT!

BUT!!!!! We are talking about the past here, and your marriage ended. Be the BEST PARENTS YOU CAN BE! Teach the hobbits the true meaning of words and there actions. You are now in a position to teach them what RIGHT from WRONG is!

 

[FlyingThePhoenix]

Hello Nujabes,

Why would you bring this thought up when you already hurt him enough? This is just disgusting.

You have the balls to come here on this forum to say that you should tell your past lover after you wreak their life up and expect us to embrace your idea or go against it neutrally so you feel like we won't scold you or something and that you can rest your action in one peace and pass up your guilt?

You're disgusting.

NEXT!

First of all Kimberley is a Woman and a Mother, and she doesn't have any BALLS. (Kimberley, please don't comment on this line.....) She has EVERY RIGHT to be on this FORUM just like YOU! You may NOT like HER thread but it's an EDUCATION for others to learn from. These are your words to Kimberley: "You're disgusting." The next time you look in the mirror say these words ALOUD "You're disgusting", they are after all, your words and no one else's..........

Post#1 is (50%) + All other posts to date, minus your post#441 (50%) = Complete story (100%). An EDUCATION! NEXT!

Thank you!

 

[FlyingThePhoenix]

I understand what you're saying and yes, there was a time I felt justified and didn't feel guilty. However, even during the affair I did go back and forth between feeling justified and feeling terrible guilt. Now that the affair is behind me I am starting to see things much differently. How, in your opinion, can I ease the pain I have caused if my ExH doesn't know of the affair? I'm not blaming him but it's not as if he was this loving doting H and I was messing around, The marriage was very strained ..

Hi Kimberley,
It's been a little while since I've been on your thread. Your words sound as if you want your ExH to take some of the blame away from you, in part exonerating you and justifying your affair, thereby easing your pain for the affair.

 

[FlyingThePhoenix]

Just because I say he wasn't a loving doting husband doesn't mean I am trying to blame him. I was simply stating that because some on here have a picture of him being a model husband and not aware of any issues between us. None of this is his fault at all. I didn't always see it that way but I do now. My choice plain and simple. Things weren't good between us but i still chose the path I did. And I am not looking to be exonerated. And there's really no justifying it either. Terrible choice I made and I was totally wrong for how I handled things. I know all this. And I don't walk around feeling torn up with guilt. More like I am trying to figure out what it is about me inside that caused m to make such a wrong choice.

Hi Kimberley,

Read this please...

"Without REAL communication between each other, there is no REAL connection between each other, without REAL connection between each other there is no REAL communication between each other. The two are inter-linked and one cannot exist without other."

Q. Did you and your husband EVER have the above when you were married?

Q. Do you have the above NOW you are divorced?

 

[FlyingThePhoenix]

Thank you! I wasn't able to express my thought correctly after staying up 2 days in a row studying. This quote pretty much explains it.

Too tired to refute the comments that were replied to me. But after reading a couple of posts the guys are now starting to be on the same page that I was on.

This girl just needs to move on. Having thoughts about letting out the truth just to worsen the situation... What the hell is this girl on? It's common sense pretty much. She just need to take her shame and move the freak on.

Who the hell comes onto a forum and say if they should let the police know that they just murdered someone. Go figure.

Hello Nujabes,

Your words: "Who the hell comes onto a forum"? People who have question(s) and would like sage advice from those that have gone through this before. This WOMAN (NOT Girl! Show some respect!), is here to find answers to her problem from Post#1. Tamers are FREE to post positive and negative constructive comments that will aid her in finding those answers. Since she is the OWNER of this thread and she can do whatever she wants with this thread. THAT'S, your words: "WHO THE HELL COMES ONTO A FORUM".

Thank you!