This is the first time I have ever posted anything like this on the internet or even talked about my problems with anyone but my common law husband. So if I am out of line in any way, please let me know.
A little about myself and my family:
Well, I have been with my common law husband for 12 years. We have a preteen child as well together. He has a very good job (he owns his own business) and i am a stay at home mom (I homeschool our daughter as well).
When we first started dating I was 18 and he was 25. We did everything together. We were good friends for 4 years before we started dating. I have always been very mature for my age and always looked at people my own age as immature. I had a very strict upbringing which forced me to basically raise myself from the age of 13. He was the exact opposite. He lived with his parents until we bought a house together in 2000. His brother who is just over 50 still lives at his parents and has never worked a day in his life. The house we bought is actually right across the street from his parents. We did however do this on purpose as his father was Ill and we wanted to be able to take care of him (his father has long since passed away).
if people would look through our front window they would probably see the "perfect family". Many of my friends and his friends look at us like we have the ideal life. I have everything I dreamed of having as a child. A huge house... a preteen that is excelling so nicely that she does grade 11 work... financial security... Family vacations twice a year... My family and his family all get along great.... Even the dogs are perfectly behaved. Behind closed doors though we are far from the perfect family. Me and my husband go out for hours on end, not to enjoy each others company.... But to park the van in the middle of a field where no one can hear us and just yell at each other (not literally yell, but argue). We fight over EVERYTHING!!!
We fight over our daughters schooling
We fight over dishes put away in the wrong spot
We fight over cooking
We fight over who walks the dogs next
We fight over who put pen away in the wrong drawer.
We fight over every single thing you can imagine.
Worst of all in my eyes is we fight over his obsession over acting like a child. Although he is close to 40 He likes to go to raves and clubs that are filled with 18-23 year old people. When he goes out he dresses like he is 18 as well. He has more face creams and anti wrinkle products then I have. And he is obsessed with his looks. When we go out to a dice dinner or anything I get all dressed up and stand in front of him then ask him "how do I look?" he doesn't even glance at me and says "you look good". Seconds after that he will ask me the same thing and if I don't shower him with compliments for 5 minutes after that he throws a tantrum like a 5 year old and will actually cancel our night out and go sulk or go lift weights for the next couple hours. So of course to stop an argument, I just indulge him and lavishly compliment him until we leave. We were out to dinner the other night and some guy that was there with his boyfriend came up to me and complimented me. My husband actually got mad that a guy (who was very obviously there with his boyfriend) chose to compliment me and not him. He is so self indulgent that it actually drives me crazy. He acts like the only important person in this universe is him.
I do realize that I sound petty. He isn't beating me, he provides for the family, he doesn't stare at other women, and he is faithful. Which is why I have never talked to anyone about this other then my husband. I should be happy. I just can't over the fact that he cares more about being young then he does about how his wife is doing. Every since I have stopped going to clubs with him (I am just too old to go) he has actually been hanging around 18 & 19 year old kids just to make himself feel young.
That is just the worst (in my eyes) of our issues. There are many more where that came from
I am very sorry That this is long and probably very boring to read. I kind of just wanted to vent my frustrations and know that SOMEONE has heard me instead of just crying into my journal.