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My husband (almost 34) and I (28) have been together for almost 5 years and have two children, one his (2 years) one that isn't. We are currently living apart as he started a new job 4 months ago in a different state 3-4 hours away and our family was to relocate later this year to be with him.

We just got married last month on 12/8 and right before the wedding, he was telling me that he was having doubts/ wanted to call the wedding off. It sounded like cold feet so we tried to work it out as best as we could and had the wedding. 12/10, my husband decided to sleep on the couch and when I asked why, I received the "I love you but I am not in love with you" and I asked him to pack up his things to take back to his apartment.

He did mention meeting a new friend at his apartment complex and they were hanging out occassionally- but I didn't think anything of it because we were busy planning the wedding. After I received the ILYBNIL, I asked him if he was sleeping with her, he said no. I asked him if he still talks to her, he said no.

About 12/17, he started asking me if I would come down with our child and spend Christmas with him. I asked him if we would be working on our marriage and he said it would be a start. Again, I had no reason to believe anything other than what he has told me so I made the trip with my son and took time off of work so that I would be able to spend 10 days with my husband and hopefully work our relationship out.
I got there on 12/22 and we had a great time, even slept together. I thought things were improving until later that night I found a bobby pin in his bed. He couldn't quite explain where that came from and I again, ignored the signs. Later that night he left to go sleep on the couch and I had enough and went through his cell phone.

I found out that he had indeed been sleeping with his neighbor and she was at his house just about every night and sleeping over every night he didn't work. She left out of the country for a Christmas vacation from the 12/18 and wasn't going to return until the New Year.
So I confronted him and he was "sorry" but more concerned about me confronting her as I sent her a text message and left a voice mail telling her he was married. He broke down in tears when he realized I told her, telling me I ruined every thing for him. They had known each other 2 months and he was more concerned about her feelings than mine.

From 12/23 until she got home 1/5, he contacted me daily saying sorry and saying he realized what he did and how he f*cked up his relationship for a possible fling but when she got home, he did a 180 and started contacting me daily only in regards to our son. I took a stab that he worked things out with her and they were back together as to why he wasn't so concerned about me any more. About a week ago, I told him that it was clear to me that he made his decision of who he wanted to be with and I asked him not to contact me any more so that I may heal and move on with my life. He has still found stupid excuses to get back in contact with me but the daily texting has stopped.

The girl is a second year med student who is almost 10 years younger than him. Everyone tells me she must be using him for money and I think so because he has been taking her to Ruth Chris, etc. She can't hold a candle to me, so I don't get what he sees in her.
I have started a petition for child support which he received notice of the other day. The marriage license was never filed (the officiant gave my husband back the paperwork and told us to see him for counseling) so I guess I don't have to worry about filing for divorce. I asked my ex to return my engagement photo, wedding photo albums and the wedding DVD, but he hasn't. I really want those items back but I guess he wants them too. Not sure what else to do at this point.
I still love him- sh!t, we just got married. I told his family of the affair and I know that they have all given him advice about choosing his family over some random chick. I guess he is still foggy, he hasn't made any move toward me to reconcile.

I am in pain every day trying to figure out how to cope and I feel like he isn't. How could he throw way almost 5 years and our kids. Does he really think this relationship with a med student 10 years his junior will last? She was worth f*cking up our lives? I am so lost.

Any words of wisdom please.
 

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You say she is a med student? I would definitely put her up on Cheaterville.

A medical practitioner's most valuable asset is their reputation. You advertise her current illicit activities, and make her fully aware of it, she'll drop your WH like a nasty habit.

You can pretty much count on it. She's not about to torpedo her career (which hasn't even actually begun yet) for a married sugar daddy 10 years her senior.
 

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Truly, what he did over Christmas was odious. She went out of town and he calls you over.

I wish there was something obvious and immediate that would ease your pain, but only time does that.

You are lucky that you know what kind of person he can be.
 
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