Him-52, me-50, married 30 years. H had a PA in 2001-2002 & EAs (online) in 2011. At the time of the PA I was weak minded and begged him to return to our family, after a year he did. At the time of the EAs (3 Asian women overseas), I told him he had to get help and if he did it again it was over between us. I see that I was still not strong enough to dump him. He said he would never do that again and he deleted the email addresses he had used. Both times, I found out about the affairs without even looking due to technology - the first time I saw an email from his sister asking about his AP and the second time I noticed overseas calls on his phone bill when he had left it lying about.
Forward to now. We work in a business together and I recently had to check a business email on his computer while he was out. While I was at his desk, I noticed that his FB was open and decided to have a look at his messages for idle curiosity. I noticed one from a woman (divorced) we both know, she lives 5 hours away from us. I was firstly curious to note that there was no chat history before August 5, unusual as I know he has chatted to her about her role in a business his mother runs. Then I read the current chat, where she sent a photo of a tattoo high on her thigh and he commented that she had nice pins and looked really hot. She thanked him and went on about her life and how hard it was and how hard it was to find a decent man.
I (stupidly) asked him about this conversation about her tattoo and he said it was nothing and that she didn't see him in any romantic way. I advised him I believed it was crossing a line into flirting and he should not be doing that. Later that day, I noticed the chat was deleted. This morning I had to use his phone to get an authorisation code to open some of our software and I saw a messenger chat window open for her, however, the conversation had been deleted. Google searches advise there is no way to recover deleted chats so I have no evidence of what they might be chatting about, just a suspicion that if a conversation needs to be deleted it cannot be good. He now knows I am watching him and checking his FB.
He probably does not know I can check the history of what pages he looks at on Google on his laptop by checking his desktop history. Recently he has been googling boobs a lot after I have gone to bed and on the weekends when I am out. Our sex life has tanked because he can rarely sustain an erection, even with meds. this might be due to his diabetes or the fact that I am not a super model with fake boobs. He also has issues with tearing around the head of the penis, the doc believes this is due to his diabetes as well.
Anyway, a big long story and I am still no closed to finding out if there is anything to be suspicious about or if previous experience has made me paranoid. There is no way he can have a burner phone unless someone else is handling it as there is no way he could pay for one without me knowing - I have to go over the credit card statements for the business and I pay all of our bills. He has no other source of income other that the business and anything he buys goes on the credit card. He asked me to take over the money as he gets too stressed. TBH, if I leave, the business will tank because I do all of the admin and most of the job processing - he does client contact and reviewing.
Forward to now. We work in a business together and I recently had to check a business email on his computer while he was out. While I was at his desk, I noticed that his FB was open and decided to have a look at his messages for idle curiosity. I noticed one from a woman (divorced) we both know, she lives 5 hours away from us. I was firstly curious to note that there was no chat history before August 5, unusual as I know he has chatted to her about her role in a business his mother runs. Then I read the current chat, where she sent a photo of a tattoo high on her thigh and he commented that she had nice pins and looked really hot. She thanked him and went on about her life and how hard it was and how hard it was to find a decent man.
I (stupidly) asked him about this conversation about her tattoo and he said it was nothing and that she didn't see him in any romantic way. I advised him I believed it was crossing a line into flirting and he should not be doing that. Later that day, I noticed the chat was deleted. This morning I had to use his phone to get an authorisation code to open some of our software and I saw a messenger chat window open for her, however, the conversation had been deleted. Google searches advise there is no way to recover deleted chats so I have no evidence of what they might be chatting about, just a suspicion that if a conversation needs to be deleted it cannot be good. He now knows I am watching him and checking his FB.
He probably does not know I can check the history of what pages he looks at on Google on his laptop by checking his desktop history. Recently he has been googling boobs a lot after I have gone to bed and on the weekends when I am out. Our sex life has tanked because he can rarely sustain an erection, even with meds. this might be due to his diabetes or the fact that I am not a super model with fake boobs. He also has issues with tearing around the head of the penis, the doc believes this is due to his diabetes as well.
Anyway, a big long story and I am still no closed to finding out if there is anything to be suspicious about or if previous experience has made me paranoid. There is no way he can have a burner phone unless someone else is handling it as there is no way he could pay for one without me knowing - I have to go over the credit card statements for the business and I pay all of our bills. He has no other source of income other that the business and anything he buys goes on the credit card. He asked me to take over the money as he gets too stressed. TBH, if I leave, the business will tank because I do all of the admin and most of the job processing - he does client contact and reviewing.
