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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
So we started practicing BDSM taking turns who doms and who subs and we got very far quite extreme. We then tried swinging. I found I really do not get off much with the other woman. But it drives me crazy with lust and a arousing type of jealousy her being with other men. Like we would swing I would be having a great time. The poor other woman thinking she’s getting me off. But really it was watching my wife doing it for me. My wife and I have amazing trust. And even tho I get jealous I love it. Because of trust we have.

Update. So had the talk. I even used 1 or 2 lines that was suggested to me. Was very positive. But also shocked me in a what that really boosted my confidence and ego.

So we spent the day out with our son nice family day. Our son crashed out and went to bed early. (The little man decided he was to tired lol. So he went to bed a hour ago.) And I started talking with my wife about this right away.

My wife told me point blank she has zero interest in playing solo. And any man who tried to push for solo play can be shown the door. She reminded me we have done separate room swinging a couple times. And she hated it. With out me there she doesn’t fill safe. Even with guys who we swooped with many times.

She told me she had actually noticed me watching her more and more lately when we swing. And that me watching her and getting turned on is what really got her going. She loves when I have a healthy level of jealousy and when I look at her full of lust. She actually loves the idea of it being a thing where she preforms for me.

She did say however. She really loves seeing me with women just as much. So she has asked if we can still play with couples. And also still have threesomes with another woman. I said of course. I did how ever ask if she would be interested in her just playing with another woman wile I watch sometimes. She said that actually sounds really hot.

She finally told me she would love the idea of me and another guy both playing with her. Spit roasting her/DP that kinda stuff.

So our new agreement is for our swinging to just have more options. Sometimes a full swop with another couple. MFF Threesomes. MFM threesomes with no male on male contact. Me watching her with a guy. Me watching her with another woman.
 

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So we started practicing BDSM taking turns who doms and who subs and we got very far quite extreme. We then tried swinging. I found I really do not get off much with the other woman. But it drives me crazy with lust and a arousing type of jealousy her being with other men. Like we would swing I would be having a great time. The poor other woman thinking she’s getting me off. But really it was watching my wife doing it for me. My wife and I have amazing trust. And even tho I get jealous I love it. Because of trust we have.
Try the cuckold lifestyle, no need for the other woman it seems. Good luck.
 

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Sounds like you've already indulged in this fetish with her, but you don't know how to tell her about it? That doesn't make sense. Am I missing something?
 

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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
I see, so you only want another man involved, not a couple. You seemed to have no trouble talking about getting into swinging. Why not just tell her this?
My worry is she will panic and think I’m saying she’s a cheat or something. She worries sometimes about boundaries. And can over think if she’s doing something wrong. So when trying new things we always agree anything we try is trial and error
 

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I would be up for that. But I still enjoy doming her sexually to when it’s my turn
then you want something called a Hotwife lifestyle. or possibly stag/vixen.
there are many variations.

there are a number of threads here that basically say "we tried swinging, and X and Y disasterous thing happened. now we are divorced". So really think this thru. Also, discussing up front the boundaries of the relationship keeps from bruising egos. Like who picks her men? Her alone, the two of you?
Can she do men in your marital bed?
Does she have to tell you before she hooks up?
Do you have to be in the room, what if she takes on a full time lover and wants you out of the room?
 

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since you have been swinging already, discussing shifting it to only Hotwifing would be relatively easy.
You will want to tell her how absolutely hot it makes you to see her with another man.
and...be prepared, she may not want to do it! you really do not want to force her if she is not into it.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
then you want something called a Hotwife lifestyle. or possibly stag/vixen.
there are many variations.

there are a number of threads here that basically say "we tried swinging, and X and Y disasterous thing happened. now we are divorced". So really think this thru. Also, discussing up front the boundaries of the relationship keeps from bruising egos. Like who picks her men? Her alone, the two of you?
Can she do men in your marital bed?
Does she have to tell you before she hooks up?
Do you have to be in the room, what if she takes on a full time lover and wants you out of the room?
To be honest swinging worked great for us. We are very secure our relationship is based on trust and communication. My worry is she might fill bad I don’t want other women. We kinda agree anything 1 can do the other can do. Anything a boundary for 1 the other respects
 

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Discussion Starter · #13 ·
since you have been swinging already, discussing shifting it to only Hotwifing would be relatively easy.
You will want to tell her how absolutely hot it makes you to see her with another man.
and...be prepared, she may not want to do it! you really do not want to force her if she is not into it.
And of course if she’s says that’s fine to. I still got the memories lol
 

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Discussion Starter · #15 ·
then you want something called a Hotwife lifestyle. or possibly stag/vixen.
there are many variations.

there are a number of threads here that basically say "we tried swinging, and X and Y disasterous thing happened. now we are divorced". So really think this thru. Also, discussing up front the boundaries of the relationship keeps from bruising egos. Like who picks her men? Her alone, the two of you?
Can she do men in your marital bed?
Does she have to tell you before she hooks up?
Do you have to be in the room, what if she takes on a full time lover and wants you out of the room?
To be honest we are close to limitless only a few. When I’m Dom she couldn’t play with others. But when she’s Dom I’d probably be up for trying anything. We kinda use a trial and error system. Try it if we like it great if we don’t oh well. If just of us doesn’t like some oh well we got a memory of trying it lol
 

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To be honest swinging worked great for us. We are very secure our relationship is based on trust and communication. My worry is she might fill bad I don’t want other women. We kinda agree anything 1 can do the other can do. Anything a boundary for 1 the other respects
Key word here. "Can". Simply because you can do it, doesn't mean that you have to. You can bed other women because she beds other men, but you should not feel pressured to. You are not violating a boundary when you don't have sex with another woman. You want to take care not to mixed them up.
 

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So we started practicing BDSM taking turns who doms and who subs and we got very far quite extreme. We then tried swinging. I found I really do not get off much with the other woman. But it drives me crazy with lust and a arousing type of jealousy her being with other men. Like we would swing I would be having a great time. The poor other woman thinking she’s getting me off. But really it was watching my wife doing it for me. My wife and I have amazing trust. And even tho I get jealous I love it. Because of trust we have.
Having gone through the other post, something to keep in mind is that cuckold and hot wife are two different, albeit similar, things. Usually with the cuckold, there is a humiliation factor involved, at least as far as doing it for kink/fetish goes. What you seem to be describing would be closer to hot wife/voyeurism.

As far as how, just tell her, especially since you two are doing explorations. "Hey honey, I've noticed that I am getting more excited by watching you with other men, than I am being with other women. Maybe we should try with just you bedding another guy while I watch, and see how that plays out." And there is all kinds of variations to this. Watching openly, from secret, taped, etc. Granted, if you are doing taping or secret, you need consent that you will do so, even if the other man agrees that he won't know when or if on any given occasion he will be watched in secret.
 
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