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Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited)
I just want to start with the fact that I love my husband more than anything. We were high school sweethearts but have only been married since July (hence the username digits) and I already don't know what to do anymore.

The straw that broke the camel's back? He threw his wedding ring away. Not on purpose mind you, but he lied about it. He went to the bars with some friends last night and "left it on his plate of wings with the napkins and it got thrown away. He dug threw their trash looking for it." Now that I could handle. It was an accident. However, instead of telling me he went to a bar, got hammered beyond belief, and didn't tell me about it until he was at work and called me to tell me. That was three hours ago.

Since then he has lied about it by trying to say it just fell off while he was wiping his hands, he just lost it, that the 'guys' convinced him to still go out and party, and that it wasn't a big deal. Still not too hard to handle.

The problem is that this ALWAYS seems to happen. He refuses to grow up or be responsible. In the last year he has been fired twice, spent way too much money on video games, and made me all but hate myself. He constantly picks on me and makes fun of me, he's always playing video games and never looking for a job, he still hasn't gotten a diploma or GED, and he is constantly trying to have sex with me to the point where I NEVER want to have it anymore because I dread every minute of it. Last time, I hid my face because I was crying the whole time.

I love him to death and I know he loves me too. He has his moments like when he made me a great bubble bath after work with candles because I had a bad day, or he spells "I Love You" on my food when he cooks dinner. He's a sweetheart. But I can count the nice things he does on one hand where as I don't have enough fingers and toes to list all the bad.

Tonight he is staying with my brother and his roommate (who he went out with last night). I just need to think. I can't live like this. I work 40 hours a week just to come home and clean up his messes. He can't even let my dog out to pee half the time he's so consumed in his games. I don't have a life. I'm unhappy. I cry all the time. I stay because I love him. He means the world to me and when it's good its GREAT but I'm not sure love is enough anymore. I can't stand to cry another day.

How can I make him see what's wrong? He always says he'll fix everything and he tries for maybe a week and then it's back to how it was. We haven't even been married six months yet. I know this will pass. But how? Can someone help me feel like I'm not about to be another young, stupid girl that married the wrong man early in life just to become divorced?


OH! And before you suggest it, we took marriage counselling before the wedding... it didn't really help. He would be good about it in class and this go back to normal when we got home. I don't want to change him. I love his humor and I love that he's childish. I just wish he could calm down on picking on me and play the games less. Focus on responsibilities first and play after. Idk. I guess love isn't enough..
 

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Sounds to me like the two of you aren't compatible emotionally or financially, and perhaps intellectually, too. There are only 5 pillars of compatibility, and your relationship's suffering in about half of them.

He is who he is. You're not going to change him. You can find a way to be happy with what you have or you can leave and find someone with whom you can be happy, but I don't foresee it happening here. At best, he'll put on a good show for a week or two and then resume his normal behavior, because that "different" person just isn't who he is.
 

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How young are you? Why did you decide to get married? What are his plans for the future if he has not graduated high school yet?
 
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