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Not Really Cheating?

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#561 ·
I know I will get flamed for this but I would recommend that GH cut ALL contact ASAP. No contact with STBXW nor her children.

Maintaining contact with the kids will mean maintaining contact with the she-beast and it will only delay his recovery. The kids are young. They will be better off without the drama of their mother's relationship with GH to deal with.
 
#562 ·
TDSC60 said:
I know I will get flamed for this but I would recommend that GH cut ALL contact ASAP. No contact with STBXW nor her children.

Maintaining contact with the kids will mean maintaining contact with the she-beast and it will only delay his recovery. The kids are young. They will be better off without the drama of their mother's relationship with GH to deal with.
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Couldn't agree more. Also depending on what state he lives in he might still have to pay child support even if his name was taken off the birth certificate if he wanted to act as a father figure to the children.
 
#564 ·
TDSC60 said:
I know I will get flamed for this but I would recommend that GH cut ALL contact ASAP. No contact with STBXW nor her children.

Maintaining contact with the kids will mean maintaining contact with the she-beast and it will only delay his recovery. The kids are young. They will be better off without the drama of their mother's relationship with GH to deal with.
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I believe GH daughter is the one that’s going on 2 years old and cutting all contact isn’t a real option since he does another child to deal with besides the twins.
 
#565 ·
BruceBanner said:
Couldn't agree more. Also depending on what state he lives in he might still have to pay child support even if his name was taken off the birth certificate if he wanted to act as a father figure to the children.
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Depending on where he is, he may still have to pay child support even if he decides to walk away, doesn't ever see them again, and even though he will be able to legally prove that he is not the father. I know it varies. In the state my son is in, I thought it was 1 year from the date of birth (may of been two, don't recall). After that, lawyer told him he was on the hook no matter what the DNA test came back as. When he signed the birth certificate he legally "acknowledged paternity", and there was a time frame on how long one he had to dispute that.

Crappy as it is that a man can be lied to, openly deceived, and made to unknowingly raise another man's children, and then not be able to just walk away, that's just the way it is. The state doesn't want to be on the hook for raising the kid, so they will hold someone liable.

In some states it may be 2 years. These kids are nearing 2 years old, which is why I HIGHLY recommend he get to a lawyer ASAP. If it is 2 years in his state, his time is limited. And (as in my son's case were he to have gone that route) it would require a court ordered test. The fact he has a home test and another "official test" done by a Dr. means nothing to the court.
 
#566 ·
Scuba_Steve said:
I believe GH daughter is the one that’s going on 2 years old and cutting all contact isn’t a real option since he does another child to deal with besides the twins.
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Goodhealth said:
We are in our early 30’s, have twins a boy and a girl that will be 2 soon.
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Sounds like the twins — a boy and a girl — aren’t identical, and are almost 2.

No mention of other kids, at least not in his initial post.
 
#567 ·
donny64 said:
Depending on where he is, he may still have to pay child support even if he decides to walk away, doesn't ever see them again, and even though he will be able to legally prove that he is not the father. I know it varies. In the state my son is in, I thought it was 1 year from the date of birth (may of been two, don't recall). After that, lawyer told him he was on the hook no matter what the DNA test came back as. When he signed the birth certificate he legally "acknowledged paternity", and there was a time frame on how long one he had to dispute that.

Crappy as it is that a man can be lied to, openly deceived, and made to unknowingly raise another man's children, and then not be able to just walk away, that's just the way it is. The state doesn't want to be on the hook for raising the kid, so they will hold someone liable.

In some states it may be 2 years. These kids are nearing 2 years old, which is why I HIGHLY recommend he get to a lawyer ASAP. If it is 2 years in his state, his time is limited. And (as in my son's case were he to have gone that route) it would require a court ordered test. The fact he has a home test and another "official test" done by a Dr. means nothing to the court.
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I'm sure if more men knew this they'd never trust a woman's word and they would be completely in the right not to.
 
#569 ·
Good Health someone made a very important point about being able to devote all your resources to your future wife and family. Of course that may be the last thing on your mind, but it's definitely something you need to protect.

So I would agree with those advising you to waste no time and go get that legal protection.
 
#572 ·
UPDATE on GH:

I’ve been keeping in touch with GH and he said I could give everyone an update on his situation. He wasn’t sure if he should do it himself as he felt that he didn’t want to take the slings and arrows from everyone with strong opinions with what he is doing.


Long story short:
He is doing as well as can be expected with what has been done to him. He has some good days and some very bad days

He is moving as quickly as possible with the divorce, but will still take a few months.

As of right now, his soon to be ex-wife is keeping to her word on not making the divorce.

He continues to meet regularly with his pastor for support. He is also getting a lot of great help and support from his family and friends.

He plans on enrolling in a CDL program once the divorce is finalized

So, in short, I personally believe he is doing much better than expected when you consider the handhe has been dealt! Most of us here have been cheated upon, but magnify that horror by 100,000,000 and you may be approaching the devastation that GH has been dealing with!!!


As a side note, at this stage, GH is handling a lot of things, and he has gotten a wide variety of suggestions on how to deal with the wide array of issues. He knows all the arguments on all sides. Right now I think he just needs words of support, and, for at least the short term, could we lay off advice?

Thanks everyone.
 
#573 ·
Kamstel said:
UPDATE on GH:

I’ve been keeping in touch with GH and he said I could give everyone an update on his situation. He wasn’t sure if he should do it himself as he felt that he didn’t want to take the slings and arrows from everyone with strong opinions with what he is doing.


Long story short:
He is doing as well as can be expected with what has been done to him. He has some good days and some very bad days

He is moving as quickly as possible with the divorce, but will still take a few months.

As of right now, his soon to be ex-wife is keeping to her word on not making the divorce.

He continues to meet regularly with his pastor for support. He is also getting a lot of great help and support from his family and friends.

He plans on enrolling in a CDL program once the divorce is finalized

So, in short, I personally believe he is doing much better than expected when you consider the handhe has been dealt! Most of us here have been cheated upon, but magnify that horror by 100,000,000 and you may be approaching the devastation that GH has been dealing with!!!


As a side note, at this stage, GH is handling a lot of things, and he has gotten a wide variety of suggestions on how to deal with the wide array of issues. He knows all the arguments on all sides. Right now I think he just needs words of support, and, for at least the short term, could we lay off advice?

Thanks everyone.
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I'll keep GH in my prayers. Whatever he decides in his heart, I will stand behind him!
 
#574 ·
Sounds as good as it is going to get until he gets a decree and can distance himself from this toxic crew. When all of the smoke clears, this will hopefully have changed a number of them. It isn't so funny when a husband has been betrayed and fights back. Let them come up with the money to support these children after the intended victim takes his ball and bat and goes home.
 
#575 ·
Thank you for the update @Kamstel, good to know he has someone here he communicates with. He has my support whatever he decides to do. He is doing amazing, whether he feels like he is or not.
 
#579 ·
Kamstel said:
UPDATE on GH:

I’ve been keeping in touch with GH and he said I could give everyone an update on his situation. He wasn’t sure if he should do it himself as he felt that he didn’t want to take the slings and arrows from everyone with strong opinions with what he is doing.
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Nice to know we here at TAM foster so much trust among BSs with our kindness and understanding.


As of right now, his soon to be ex-wife is keeping to her word on not making the divorce.
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You mean she's not going to fight him?
 
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BruceBanner
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