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Discussion Starter #1
As a HD male I have been accused of always wanting sex.And for always having sex on my mind.I have been told that maybe if I would stop talking about it all the time that maybe things would change.
Well I am sure there are others who have heard the same things. What bothers me is once you have changed and completely stop asking for sex and talking about it.Your mate still thinks you do. Meaning I never get credit for changing.I guess after 30 yrs. of doing it.She still thinks I do it.Kinda hard to say what I mean.But after 6 weeks of not asking for it,or mentioning sex. I would like to be acknowledge for it. And have her say I sure like the new you??? { not Happening}
 

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Do you like the new you?
 

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So she tells you to not think about it, you do that, and there's no sex anyways?

You're damned if you do and damned if you don't, you might as well be damned doing what you want to so think about sex all the time then. If she *****es, point out what you said in your OP. She can't have it both ways.
 

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I never understood why one spouse expects the other to change and then gets upset/disappointed that they don't. She didn't marry you under the assumption you wanted nothing to do with sex, so why should you have be celibate now?
 

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You should just switch the scenario back at her...rather than you not think about it, have her to think about it, that way you will both be in sync...like so:

As a LD female I have been accused of never wanting sex. And for never having sex on my mind. I have been told that maybe if I would start talking about it all the time that maybe things would change.
Why it is upon you to change, has me baffled.
 

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Standard operating procedure for women who are low drive and want to blame their lack of desire on their husbands. Now, it is often the husband's fault in that she is allowed to act this way without consequences, but that excuse, mostly, is b.s. Most of us have heard it before. "If you'd stop bugging me, maybe I'd be in the mood more often". So you keep your mouth shut and don't initiate for weeks and months, and NOTHING changes. And god forbid if after a month or two you try to initiate or talk about it. You're right back to square one and the same old bullchit of "if you'd stop bugging me...".

Give her what she wants. Stop asking. BUT start doing other things as well. Act disinterested in it (and you should be disinterested. I'm not interested in sex with someone who treats it as though they're doinf me some favor). Get an interest outside of the house. Start working out. Working on you type things.

In short oder she'll likely snap out of it and get worried about why you've stopped initiating, and why you're working on yourself and getting outside interests. Her curiosity will be piqued, she'll feel far less secure about how she's been treating you, and all of it will likely kick her attraction for you into a higher gear.

Good luck.
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She's likely saying she doesn't want to be bothered. I've been accused of thinking about it too much so I also stopped talking about it or making any moves. What did that do? It just bought her more time of not having to be bothered by my desire for intimacy.
 

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Discussion Starter #9
Ya I just love the one where she saids maybe if I would not put so much pressure on her for sex.Things could get better.So off I go and don't mention sex for 6 weeks and guess what .She saids God we have been getting along so good lately we have not battle about sex or anything.Things are great.But still no sex
 

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You know I have always wondered why my wife is LD? My fault I am sure? Why she has to be in charge of our sex life. When I get laid or not.Their has never been sex for good behaver? You can't earn it. I am not intitled to it..
But what I wonder the most is why she would not give it up for 10 mins. But would rather I treat her like a ass hole all week long for being selfish with it.You think a LD wife would soon figure it out that they will get treated alot better if they could offer you a well balanced sex life.But thats a choice mine makes
 

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You know I have always wondered why my wife is LD? My fault I am sure? Why she has to be in charge of our sex life. When I get laid or not.Their has never been sex for good behaver? You can't earn it. I am not intitled to it..
But what I wonder the most is why she would not give it up for 10 mins. But would rather I treat her like a ass hole all week long for being selfish with it.You think a LD wife would soon figure it out that they will get treated alot better if they could offer you a well balanced sex life.But thats a choice mine makes
The reason she wont give it up is you let her!. Why are you putting up with this sh1t! Do you have no self respect? Are you willing to spend your life in a sexless relationship?

If not, read the "man up" threads, get the book "No More Mr. Nice Guy". Start doing the 180, Be willing to move on without your wife.

The only person you have to blame for this really is you; because you have put up with it. I know that is hard to hear. That doesn't make it any less true.
 

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The only person you have to blame for this really is you; because you have put up with it. I know that is hard to hear. That doesn't make it any less true.
Unfortunately this is often true, and neither the man or woman can figure it out because the reasons for it are burried so deep in our brains beyond conscious thought.

In some cases you just have a loow drive wife, may have gotten the old "bait and switch", and nothing can seem to fix it. Most often though it seems to be a loss of attraction for him on her part. It is up to the guy to get it back, or live with it. It IS NOT UP TO HER unless you allow it to be so. Nothing keeping you from improving yourself, pulling away, increasing attraction, OR walking away from it altogether.
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Why is it the man always has to change to fit their partner?

If we want sex to much, we are high drive, and are called pigs and told that sex is all we think about. So we need to tone it down.

If we don't want sex, then we are low drive, and then something is wrong with us so we have to go out buy viagra.

Seriously. Why is it always on the guys to change?
 

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Is there a play book somewhere that LD wives use? This is a word for word replay of what my wife says to me...."Thats all tou think about" "You put too much pressure on me"....I mean word fer word, and No sex for good behavior.......I found that walking out and being unavailable for a few hours (bad behavior)
gets me more response than doing what she says she wants......
 

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I found that walking out and being unavailable for a few hours (bad behavior)
gets me more response than doing what she says she wants......
I had a buddy a few years back who told us during a bachelor party (not his) that he had been cut off by his SO for six weeks, and counting. I don't even know what it was about, but he's the type to cheat or something, and knowing their relationship it was likely something pretty minor.

So the second night of the bachelor party (it was a three day bender, lol) we were going to the strippers and he was saying how he shouldn't go because she wouldn't like it, blah, blah. Then he suddenly says "**** this, I'm not getting any anyways, I'm going to go," and comes with us.

Long story short, his SO finds out he went and even though she's mad, he gets laid within a few days of going.

Talk about mixed messages huh? Reward for bad behaviour, and you wonder why guys think women only want a bad boy.
 

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Is there a play book somewhere that LD wives use? This is a word for word replay of what my wife says to me...."Thats all tou think about" "You put too much pressure on me"....I mean word fer word, and No sex for good behavior.......I found that walking out and being unavailable for a few hours (bad behavior)
gets me more response than doing what she says she wants......
YOu forgot there must be something wrong with you! My husband has told me that a few times.
 
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