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My mom has been in the hospital since last week Friday. She had been sick for awhile before that, but Friday she just wasn't "right". Dad and Raven1983 (my sister, she has an account on here) called me to come over and sit with the lady who lives with them. I got there and Raven gave me a flashlight, which I had requested. Mom's pupils didn't react as I thought they should have... she thought that was a GOOD sign. But, we didn't back down, and dad and Raven took her to the ER. Mom couldn't even walk out to the car! She couldn't stand up. We had to guide her to a wheelchair and take her out that way.

After a lot of tests, and being transferred to a better hospital, she was diagnosed with pneumonia. One lung had filled and the other was starting to fill up as well. They had to intubate her, sedated of course. She argued until she lost consciousness. She was intubated Saturday morning and they removed it Monday. Seemed rather early, IMO, but she did seem to be getting better. However, she had to have dialysis because her kidneys weren't producing any urine at all. At one point, she DID start producing about 35cc in one hour. Not bad, considering, but not good, either.

Last night, during a scheduled dialysis, mom had a seizure. She then had two more after that. The doctor decided to intubate her again because she was/is unable to breathe on her own right now. They were supposed to do an MRI this evening to see what they can find. Her reflexes respond to stimuli, but she doesn't respond to commands.

Dad is beside himself, of course. He's scared he is going to lose her, and he is just not ready for that. They've been married 39 years, having just celebrated their anniversary last month. I am worried as well. He is also worried about the trips. Thus far, he has been able to go nearly everyday. It is a 30 mile trip, one way. He is exhausted from the running around. Sometimes, I think it's a bad thing that I emotionally detach from the whole thing a bit...but other times, I see that in some ways, the detachment is practical, to get things taken care of. For those that pray, please, keep her and our family in your prayers. Even if you don't pray, please, direct positive thoughts toward us, and especially toward her.

As often/soon as I can, I will post updates. Just please, prayer/positive thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks, guys.
 

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So sorry to hear this, Mari. I'll definitely keep your family in my thoughts. I hope they can find out what's going on. ((hugs))
 

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So sorry Maricha...my prayers for your mom that everything turns out alright and also for your dad,you and the rest of your family that you all find strength in this very worrisome time.
 

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Totally agree with others. I hope your mother gets better and sorry to here your going through this maricha.
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Thanks guys. Much appreciated. They didn't do the MRI last night. I would guess it would be because they had people come into the ER or they had some who were worse off last night. Anyway, no new developments as of this morning, so that is a positive... no change is better than getting worse, at this point. TBH, the one I am worried most about is dad. I mean, I have some sense of detachment for the above mentioned reasons... but I am so thankful that my husband is here and I can lean on him. Trying to keep things as normal as possible for the kids right now...which includes Thanksgiving plans. Dad says that whether she is still in ICU, or a regular room by then, or even out...we will still do Thanksgiving dinner, just scaled back a bit.

I'm also worried about my youngest niece (Raven's daughter). She's a "Grammie's girl" through and through lol. She is lashing out (4 years old). The youngest kids don't quite grasp the concept that Grammie is really sick, that's why she is not home, but in the hospital. It's just not an easy thing to grasp for a 4-6 year old child. :(
 

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Maricha - Many prayers to you and your entire family. It is hard to watch the little ones go through times like this.
My advice is to take care of yourself at this time so that you can have the strength to be there for your father and your niece, and the rest of the family.
Hang in there.
 

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MRI was this morning. They also had to do a blood transfusion because her levels dropped. Dad said the nurse told him that she's trying to open her eyes, but that she still doesn't respond to commands. Hoping that it's due to the sedation. Dad's going to see her tomorrow and said he is NOT leaving until he talks to a doctor!

Hopefully we will have some good news tomorrow. Question, and I think I know the answer, but I just want verification. If she is still so deep under sedation and she doesn't respond to commands, is the fact that she is trying to open her eyes likely due to reflex at this point? I am OBVIOUSLY not going to say that to dad, it is just something I was wondering.
 

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this is terrible Maricha,I'm so sorry! :(

Are they keeping her sedated purposely so her body can heal and receive treatment better? Like a medically induced coma situation?

Sometimes they do that because it's dangerous for the person to be alert.

I hope she's ok,praying for you and yours.
 

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Yes, she is in a medically induced coma. Dad says they are thinking they may attempt to bring her out of it today. She had tried to pull out her IVs and everything at one point, and when she wasn't getting the necessary oxygen, they sedated her to intubate. From my understanding, though... no change, really. Except for that eye thing I mentioned above...which I truly believe is more reflex than actually trying to wake up.

See, part of her problems stemmed from diabetes (the renal failure). Some of it is from her smoking... again, the problems with her kidneys. But, she's done with smoking, she just doesn't know it yet. Some may find this harsh, but my husband and I agree that if she wants to go back to smoking after this hospital stay, she is going to be given a choice: cigarettes or grandkids. I'll be DAMNED if I will let my kids watch their Grammie slowly kill herself, just as my own grandmother did. Some may question my thoughts regarding kidneys and smoking... when my grandfather passed away 15 years ago, the doctors were shocked to learn that he never smoked a day in his life because the kidney cancer he had was due to smoking... he was surrounded by smokers all his life. That's not happening to my kids. I love my mom, but I won't do that to my kids. I know that if she wants to do it anyway, she will hide it. But, like with everything else, it comes out eventually...and we won't back down. We want her to watch the kids grow up...

Anyway, her doctor DID say that if she goes back to smoking, next time she comes in with pneumonia (which she has now), she won't come out of the hospital alive. She was at death's door when she went in. Had she not gone, she would have been dead in about 3 hours. We have taken pictures, and she will be shown.

Ugh! Sorry, again, if this seemed a harsh post. As with everything else in life, we need to vent sometimes...
 

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I totally understand, Maricha. It's so hard to watch someone you love hurting themselves. And sometimes you get to the point where simple gentle prodding hasn't worked and you know that it's a crisis point. You're not only thinking of your mom, but of your kids. I hope everything goes well today.
 

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Ugh! Sorry, again, if this seemed a harsh post. As with everything else in life, we need to vent sometimes...
Understandable frustration sometimes when we're worried about a loved one and feel powerless.Hang in there Maricha....you're all in my prayers.
 
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Thanks guys. Dad didn't get to go over to see her today. :(
He was told that they want to do a tracheotomy and to put a feeding tube in. I believe the trach is because they are concerned about skin breakdown due to the tube being placed for too long. Add to that the fact that they think the trach will help wean her off the ventilator a bit more easily than keeping the tube in. Dad gave permission for both. One of my sisters said that she really hopes mom won't be livid when she comes out of this. But, in our defense, she never stated her preferences in situations like this.

We're doing ok, though. Hubby talked with dad last night and told him that he completely understands how much dad wants to be with mom... he's felt the same way with me when we've been apart even one night! Obviously not the same, but similar enough that they were speaking the same language, ya know? Anyway, he told dad that he's really worried that dad will have the gas money necessary for his other obligations through the rest of the month...and that he gets the rest he needs. So, dad did agree, just hard. He didn't get to go today, but he IS going tomorrow, providing nothing comes up, preventing him from going.
 

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Prayers sent for you and your family, Maricha75. I am sorry to read all of this. It is sad.
 
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Thanks again, guys.

So, today's development:

Dad was going to go see her today, but couldn't. He's really been running himself ragged and feels like he's coming down with something. My husband will be going with him tomorrow, if his back is up to it.

Today, they put the trach in. They also put a PICC line in, I believe he said. When he goes tomorrow, he (and likely my husband) will be discussing with him about transfer to a long term care facility. He believes the subject was brought up because of everything I have already mentioned, as well as the fact that she needs to get her swallow reflex back, as well as having to go through rehab for all of this. I am only speculating, of course. He will find out for sure, tomorrow.

Sigh...but I lost it with my aunt over this. She wants my mom to be placed in a facility 5 hours away from my dad...so she can take care of her, and (as she thinks) mom would have more visitors there. I didn't use any curse words, but they were there in my mind. She's playing the martyr because we told her no, her place is as close to dad as possible. She said she's "tired of getting [her] ass kicked every time [she] says something."...Sorry? I thought her husband, who is of sound mind, makes those decisions... and no, she did NOT name my aunt as the one to make the decisions. So, yea, I'm a bit pissed off right now. We girls, as well as our husbands, have his back.
 

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Ok, an update. She's still not very well off. They were unable to put the PEG (not PICC, as dad had thought the doc said). For those who don't know, PICC (or PIC) is an IV, but used for feeding directly into the blood stream. Because of her weight loss surgery, they couldn't put the PEG in. PEG is an actual feeding tube which goes in the stomach. Mom's is way too tiny. So, in lieu of a PEG right now, she has a NG tube. She wasn't eating what, nor how, she should have been. So, her muscles have atrophied.

This morning, the doctor decided to lower the sedation a bit, and wake her to see how she tolerates it. She was fine for awhile. But then, after a couple hours, she started getting agitated, so they had to sedate her again.

Also, it turns out that the place they want to transfer her to is not a nursing home type facility...it is another hospital. It is for long term care, so she would be in good hands. And, it is about half the distance of traveling to the current hospital!

Dad is still running ragged. We are making him get rest, though. He's still stressing over finances, BUT, I know some things are going to be a little better. I'll just say my middle sister told me something...and dad and the youngest (Raven) will learn really soon.

Regarding mom, though... Dad said that looking at her in that bed reminds him of when he and mom both used to work in a nursing home and the patients. Just the way she looks, the way she acts when not sedated. It scares him. Add to that the fact that he talked to mom's bank and he has to get a Durable Power of Attny in order to take care of her finances, legally. So, now... ugh. No idea where to begin. I think he said he needs to contact a lawyer about getting it taken care of, but is worried about the cost for that as well. Anyway, anyone familiar with Michigan law, let me know, and I will pass it on to dad.
 
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