I have not found any story quite like mine yet so i would like to share with you all and see what feedback I get. On Jan 13th of this year my wife of 11 years admitted to having an affair. Here’s the thing it was 8 years ago, and according to her lasted 8-9 months. It was a work affair. One thing is that way back then I not only saw the signs like coming home late leaving early and such but I was told by many that something was going on. I confronted her back then and asked her if anything was going on she denied it I asked her if she would transfer from the location as to stop all the craziness and hurtful things that was swirling around me. Transferring was a simple thing to do for her yet she said that she would do no such thing because she wasn’t going to lose the place she had worked to get to. It would have been a lateral transfer no loss of recognition or status yet she demined it. I chose then to believe her even though there was beyond enough to prove it. It was too painful and my self-image said it was best. I always knew but dealt with it locked behind a door in my mind. There is more but I would like to address the present. She told me over the phone and refused to come home till work was over then when she got home she cried and apologized and swore to do everything and anything to help me and our marriage deal with this. We sought pro counseling and soon ran out of money for that. For 3-4 months after admitting it she did little or nothing while I am desperately seeking answers. She denied my requests to go to our church leaders and finally said she did not care about the situation or any part of it to her it had been 8 years ago and she claims it was the only time. In the time since Jan of this year to now I feel as though our marriage is no longer I have gone through mental hell and our son has endured tension despite efforts to keep it away from him. So just 2 days ago she admitted to purposely dragging her feet in doing her part and looking at herself because she did not want to face herself and feel the hurt it would cause. Am I right in saying she chose herself over me, our son’s right to a whole family, and our marriage. Or do I sit and wait because for the 50th time in 9 months she says she understands and will do more?