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Dictum veritas, I bet there are a lot of people out there who wish they had read your post before taking the path they did. How many times have we seen WS find that grass is not greener?
Thank you and to answer your question more often than not, my cheating ex harpy from 20+ years ago being one of them.
 

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Dictum veritas, I bet there are a lot of people out there who wish they had read your post before taking the path they did. How many times have we seen WS find that grass is not greener?
Are you saying she should stay in a loveless and sexless marriage?
 

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Marriages are not like Bic pens, disposable and utilitarian, but ultimately valueless. Advising people to treat them as such is dangerous and a Mid-life crisis is no reason to dispose of one.
In your opinion, she should suffer for the rest of her life just for the sake of it? Because of a piece of paper? The marriage is dead. The husband's gone.
 

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@Shelly1816 imagine if roles were reversed and your H was out there thinking about trading you in for a shinier model, how would you feel?

You sound self centered and totally lacking in any introspection. You have kids with this man, built a life with him, of course it is not going to be all roses and butterflies. Just because you got fit and lost weight doesn't mean that far away fields are going to be greener either. have you actually done anything about your flagging marriage, discussed it, considered MC, weekends away, etc.?
You have a very superficial take on life. It would be much better if you worked on your inner woman and became a person who didn't think it was ok to go out and flirt and see what is out there and instead reflected on what she already has and who she ought to be as a role model for her kids.
What will you do if you H thinks to hell with this disrespect and thinks he can get a younger better model and decides he wants a divorce?
 

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Marriages are not like Bic pens, disposable and utilitarian, but ultimately valueless. Advising people to treat them as such is dangerous and a Mid-life crisis is no reason to dispose of one.
Did you read the part about the husband now being out of the house? This is no longer just her choice to make.
 

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@Shelly1816 imagine if roles were reversed and your H was out there thinking about trading you in for a shinier model, how would you feel?
Not playing the devil's advocate, but if my wife stopped having sex with me and didn't find me attractive any more for whatever reason (actually, I know the reason), I would be happy to let her go. In fact, this is what's happening to me right now. "Existing" in a marriage is no way to live. Living with a person who doesn't desire you and stays with you just because he/she feels obliged is wrong. Of course, what the OP did is wrong too, so it's time to move on.
 

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I learned some new things today.....

1)ALL "good" men wind up harassing women for sex.....

2) its a foregone conclusion that no matter the circumstances, you are bound by a marital contract to give sex...and its non negotiable....

3) If a woman has lost attraction for a man and will never get it back, then she better come to terms with that, have sex with him no matter how dreadful, and live in a loveless and dispassionate marriage because the only possible alternative is to be passed around like a Thanksgiving turkey and live in a dump with some cats...

Sheesh....c'mon, really??

Agree with the poster above....A marriage contract should not doom someone to a life of misery and someone shouldn't be immediately shamed without knowing all of the details...Everyone hopes to pick the one and only person that checks off all the boxes and goes on to live happily ever after, and sometimes even what worked one day, doesn't 5 or 10 years later...While it's wise to try to work it out if possible, its also better to cut bait then spend the rest of one's life un happy and unfulfilled..
 

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@Shelly1816 imagine if roles were reversed and your H was out there thinking about trading you in for a shinier model, how would you feel?

You sound self centered and totally lacking in any introspection. You have kids with this man, built a life with him, of course it is not going to be all roses and butterflies. Just because you got fit and lost weight doesn't mean that far away fields are going to be greener either. have you actually done anything about your flagging marriage, discussed it, considered MC, weekends away, etc.?
You have a very superficial take on life. It would be much better if you worked on your inner woman and became a person who didn't think it was ok to go out and flirt and see what is out there and instead reflected on what she already has and who she ought to be as a role model for her kids.
What will you do if you H thinks to hell with this disrespect and thinks he can get a younger better model and decides he wants a divorce?
A wonderful post and bit of advice.

I totally agree, in principle.

That said, I think OP and others like her are not marriage material.

You assume that she can see the errors in her thinking and stop this destructive (to her marriage) thinking.

I am a cynic here, hence, I think she should let her husband go, and that would allow him to find a more compatible and loyal partner.

Her own words define her in dark and mottled tones.

Life is too short for gambling (either way).

May a Good Spirit guide her properly.
For all involved.



Are Dee-

I
 
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For heaven’s sake In Absentia, have you read all of the posts in this currently short thread before jumping all over my post. My first post clearly said everyone deserves happiness, advised divorce if she was not happy and asked if there was more to this story than first appears.
 
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