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Ok so backstory, me and my husband met in high school and at the time I was not as sexually experienced as he was. I had only been with one person one time and he had had 300 partners by the time he was 18. So his sex drive has always been unusually high. The sex is good and he gives great head but his penis isn’t the biggest and after having kids he can only reach his climax in one position which is so boring. If I would’ve known the problems it would cause I would’ve tested the waters before we got married. We have both cheated in the marriage which changed the dynamic of the marriage. He’s a Gemini so he acts like everything is ok now but I know that’s not always true, he has his days. However, that didn’t change his attraction for me. He’s still sexually attracted to me even after 3 kids which I am grateful for but the sex just isn’t the same for me.

Sex is 80% mental for me and my husband is the type of person who rarely takes anything serious, he always has a slick or sarcastic comment for everything said and I can’t stand it. It turns me off and I just prefer to not even talk sometimes. Also he smokes cigarettes now (he didn’t smoke when we first got together) and I don’t like it, it’s gross. He also comes home from work smelling like farts sometimes and it is just unattractive to me I’m sorry. I do love him dearly but I just don’t get turned on anymore.

We argue about this problem all the time because he says he doesn’t feel like I want him anymore. My husband is very affectionate and I am not like at all. It’s a struggle for me to even be affectionate with our kids and that’s no question that I love them unconditionally so it’s obvious I’m not doing it because I don’t want him. I was affectionate in the beginning but that all went out the window when he got comfortable hurting me with his actions. Don’t get me wrong I am horny at times just not for him. I feel terrible about it but I don’t know how to re-ignite the sex flame or if I even want to at this point.

He doesn’t want to go to counseling. I have suggested an open marriage where he can have sex with other women but not with me and I can have sex with other women as well. He is opposed to that because he doesn’t want to not be able to have sex with me and he doesn’t want me with another man at some point. I really do love him and the kids adore him so I don’t want us to get a divorce but I’m all out of options and I am tired of being upset all the time because I need some back breaking **** and I’m tired of arguing about it!
 

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You won't like this, but I'll offer up.
Let's see............
Your husband was a public utility. He was serving it up like McDonalds before he was 18.
However, his wang is substandard.
You had basically no sexual experience before him, but you are a size queen and aware that his cockmanship is below par.
However, you liked it enough to get pregnant 3x.
You love him, but you have cheated on him. He has also cheated on you.
You don't get turned on because he smokes and farts. This causes arguments.
You don't want to be affectionate w/your husband, even though you are perpetually horny, and struggle to be affectionate with your kids.
However, you love them all.
You want an open marriage so you can farm your husband off on someone else and explore your bi side.
He doesn't like that because he thinks you should honor your marital vows.
You want options. Okay........
1. You need counseling. Badly. You either want to be married to him and be a family or you don't. You need to get your **** sorted.
2. Help him quit smoking. Shower with him. Soap him up in the shower so he gets real clean.
3. Treat him like you want him. He is probably sick and tired of being treated like something the dog drug in.
4. You better hope your husband doesn't see this. If you are as you portray yourself, he should lawyer up. QUICKLY.
5. Just divorce the guy. You don't want him, you don't respect him, you don't even want to be married to him. I dont even know him but I'm sure he deserves better.
 

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Ok so backstory, me and my husband met in high school and at the time I was not as sexually experienced as he was. I had only been with one person one time and he had had 300 partners by the time he was 18. So his sex drive has always been unusually high. The sex is good and he gives great head but his penis isn’t the biggest and after having kids he can only reach his climax in one position which is so boring. If I would’ve known the problems it would cause I would’ve tested the waters before we got married. We have both cheated in the marriage which changed the dynamic of the marriage. He’s a Gemini so he acts like everything is ok now but I know that’s not always true, he has his days. However, that didn’t change his attraction for me. He’s still sexually attracted to me even after 3 kids which I am grateful for but the sex just isn’t the same for me.

Sex is 80% mental for me and my husband is the type of person who rarely takes anything serious, he always has a slick or sarcastic comment for everything said and I can’t stand it. It turns me off and I just prefer to not even talk sometimes. Also he smokes cigarettes now (he didn’t smoke when we first got together) and I don’t like it, it’s gross. He also comes home from work smelling like farts sometimes and it is just unattractive to me I’m sorry. I do love him dearly but I just don’t get turned on anymore.

We argue about this problem all the time because he says he doesn’t feel like I want him anymore. My husband is very affectionate and I am not like at all. It’s a struggle for me to even be affectionate with our kids and that’s no question that I love them unconditionally so it’s obvious I’m not doing it because I don’t want him. I was affectionate in the beginning but that all went out the window when he got comfortable hurting me with his actions. Don’t get me wrong I am horny at times just not for him. I feel terrible about it but I don’t know how to re-ignite the sex flame or if I even want to at this point.

He doesn’t want to go to counseling. I have suggested an open marriage where he can have sex with other women but not with me and I can have sex with other women as well. He is opposed to that because he doesn’t want to not be able to have sex with me and he doesn’t want me with another man at some point. I really do love him and the kids adore him so I don’t want us to get a divorce but I’m all out of options and I am tired of being upset all the time because I need some back breaking **** and I’m tired of arguing about it!
Sleeping with other partners isn’t an option when you guys are serious about this relationship. And by the way, why on earth do you even think about divorce when you say that you love him unconditionally ? There are many ways to sort this out if you both want to accept the way you both are.

The way you are complaining about him, Even he might have noticed few things that has changed in you in recent years.... right ? Always remember, a coin has two sides. So don’t think your aren’t at fault even a bit.

Yes i totally agree he might have changed his habits which is why he has become lethargic when it comes to hygiene. So you can arouse him to take a bath together. Trust me, I’ve always loved to bathe together it’s super fun and may be you guys might start liking it. Do something different to make sure your sexual desires are ignited. Ever tried having sex in the kitchen platform ? If not, try it out.

More on your reply :)

And stay safe !


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