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7 Posts
Well after 12 years together my husband is telling me that there is no solution and if I do not have threesomes and make them a regular occurrence we are done!
We have had a mff when we first got together, Not a good time for me. Very uncomfortable. Haven't had one after. 9- 10 years of saying he wants one and describing and asking and telling. We have 2 times with mmf. First time wasn't to bad, I was very terrified, scared and excited about it. Went ok. But husband felt that kissing wasn't ok. and started planning more threesomes and foursomes. I was uncomfortable thinking about doing more. We try and plan another threesome, for what ever reason didn't work out for the night he wanted it to so he was very mean and hateful toward me that night. but next day says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Then a month or so after that we do our second time mmf with same guy. It was a violating experience for me. I had felt horrible afterwards and i have told my husband I do not want to live this life. I have tried it and its not for me.
Well he wants it all the time now says he doesn't want to work on just us. He wants threesomes or we are done. He says that i have to do it or he is going to do it anyways. Says he hasn't cheated. and doesn't want to but he needs us to have threesomes. no matter what. I tell him no it not the life for me not what i want and we can work on just us in the bed room if he wants. but he says no. its not to much to ask for me to do this for him. And he's done with us if I don't. He says he is already becoming resentful of me because i will not go and have more threesomes.
He says there is no solution because I am not willing to budge from no threesomes and lets work on us and he is not willing to budge on having threesomes on a regular basis. Either way one of us is unhappy he says and will become hateful and resentful of the other.
I have tried to talk to him and tell him that i love him and we can go to counseling but he says no he will not go. Counseling is for ppl that don't know what they want. I am trying at this point to talk to him with out to much emotion running into my voice but its hard. He is now telling me I'm so stupid and to thick skulled to hear what he is saying and i have the power to stop this break up from happening as long as i have threesomes. But that is not ok with me. Forced to do something i don't want just to save something that he doesn't want to fix. or work on.
He says that in every other department of our life and marriage he is happy and content with and I am a wonderful wife he couldn't ask for any better. But the threesomes are a major thing for him and If i do not do them It is a deal breaker.
I am scared. and I'm not afraid to say that. We have a son that just started school. and when ever i have said that he's doing this saying good bye doesn't only affect me but another person too he says he doesn't want to talk about it. I am trying to talk to him rationally as well but he has already said we will not continue to be nicey nicey to each other that we will be hateful. i said i won't he said he will and he will make my life a hell.
I don't know what to feel this all feels surreal to me. I want to spare my sons feelings and try and have this all go smoothly as not to affect him to much. but not sure where to start.
But back to my husband he is working away and saying all of this on the phone to me but said it would be no different in the feeling department if he was home. He is spose to be coming off on days off here tomorrow but says he's not sure he will come home and if he can face me.
I don't know...........
I think demanding threesomes or else we are done is pretty extreme. and that we should work on us as a couple and as a family.
But he thinks i shouldn't even hesitate and i should want to do it on a regular basis.
We have had a mff when we first got together, Not a good time for me. Very uncomfortable. Haven't had one after. 9- 10 years of saying he wants one and describing and asking and telling. We have 2 times with mmf. First time wasn't to bad, I was very terrified, scared and excited about it. Went ok. But husband felt that kissing wasn't ok. and started planning more threesomes and foursomes. I was uncomfortable thinking about doing more. We try and plan another threesome, for what ever reason didn't work out for the night he wanted it to so he was very mean and hateful toward me that night. but next day says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Then a month or so after that we do our second time mmf with same guy. It was a violating experience for me. I had felt horrible afterwards and i have told my husband I do not want to live this life. I have tried it and its not for me.
Well he wants it all the time now says he doesn't want to work on just us. He wants threesomes or we are done. He says that i have to do it or he is going to do it anyways. Says he hasn't cheated. and doesn't want to but he needs us to have threesomes. no matter what. I tell him no it not the life for me not what i want and we can work on just us in the bed room if he wants. but he says no. its not to much to ask for me to do this for him. And he's done with us if I don't. He says he is already becoming resentful of me because i will not go and have more threesomes.
He says there is no solution because I am not willing to budge from no threesomes and lets work on us and he is not willing to budge on having threesomes on a regular basis. Either way one of us is unhappy he says and will become hateful and resentful of the other.
I have tried to talk to him and tell him that i love him and we can go to counseling but he says no he will not go. Counseling is for ppl that don't know what they want. I am trying at this point to talk to him with out to much emotion running into my voice but its hard. He is now telling me I'm so stupid and to thick skulled to hear what he is saying and i have the power to stop this break up from happening as long as i have threesomes. But that is not ok with me. Forced to do something i don't want just to save something that he doesn't want to fix. or work on.
He says that in every other department of our life and marriage he is happy and content with and I am a wonderful wife he couldn't ask for any better. But the threesomes are a major thing for him and If i do not do them It is a deal breaker.
I am scared. and I'm not afraid to say that. We have a son that just started school. and when ever i have said that he's doing this saying good bye doesn't only affect me but another person too he says he doesn't want to talk about it. I am trying to talk to him rationally as well but he has already said we will not continue to be nicey nicey to each other that we will be hateful. i said i won't he said he will and he will make my life a hell.
I don't know what to feel this all feels surreal to me. I want to spare my sons feelings and try and have this all go smoothly as not to affect him to much. but not sure where to start.
But back to my husband he is working away and saying all of this on the phone to me but said it would be no different in the feeling department if he was home. He is spose to be coming off on days off here tomorrow but says he's not sure he will come home and if he can face me.
I don't know...........
I think demanding threesomes or else we are done is pretty extreme. and that we should work on us as a couple and as a family.
But he thinks i shouldn't even hesitate and i should want to do it on a regular basis.