[foreveralwayseternal]

Well after 12 years together my husband is telling me that there is no solution and if I do not have threesomes and make them a regular occurrence we are done!
We have had a mff when we first got together, Not a good time for me. Very uncomfortable. Haven't had one after. 9- 10 years of saying he wants one and describing and asking and telling. We have 2 times with mmf. First time wasn't to bad, I was very terrified, scared and excited about it. Went ok. But husband felt that kissing wasn't ok. and started planning more threesomes and foursomes. I was uncomfortable thinking about doing more. We try and plan another threesome, for what ever reason didn't work out for the night he wanted it to so he was very mean and hateful toward me that night. but next day says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Then a month or so after that we do our second time mmf with same guy. It was a violating experience for me. I had felt horrible afterwards and i have told my husband I do not want to live this life. I have tried it and its not for me.
Well he wants it all the time now says he doesn't want to work on just us. He wants threesomes or we are done. He says that i have to do it or he is going to do it anyways. Says he hasn't cheated. and doesn't want to but he needs us to have threesomes. no matter what. I tell him no it not the life for me not what i want and we can work on just us in the bed room if he wants. but he says no. its not to much to ask for me to do this for him. And he's done with us if I don't. He says he is already becoming resentful of me because i will not go and have more threesomes.
He says there is no solution because I am not willing to budge from no threesomes and lets work on us and he is not willing to budge on having threesomes on a regular basis. Either way one of us is unhappy he says and will become hateful and resentful of the other.
I have tried to talk to him and tell him that i love him and we can go to counseling but he says no he will not go. Counseling is for ppl that don't know what they want. I am trying at this point to talk to him with out to much emotion running into my voice but its hard. He is now telling me I'm so stupid and to thick skulled to hear what he is saying and i have the power to stop this break up from happening as long as i have threesomes. But that is not ok with me. Forced to do something i don't want just to save something that he doesn't want to fix. or work on.
He says that in every other department of our life and marriage he is happy and content with and I am a wonderful wife he couldn't ask for any better. But the threesomes are a major thing for him and If i do not do them It is a deal breaker.
I am scared. and I'm not afraid to say that. We have a son that just started school. and when ever i have said that he's doing this saying good bye doesn't only affect me but another person too he says he doesn't want to talk about it. I am trying to talk to him rationally as well but he has already said we will not continue to be nicey nicey to each other that we will be hateful. i said i won't he said he will and he will make my life a hell.
I don't know what to feel this all feels surreal to me. I want to spare my sons feelings and try and have this all go smoothly as not to affect him to much. but not sure where to start.
But back to my husband he is working away and saying all of this on the phone to me but said it would be no different in the feeling department if he was home. He is spose to be coming off on days off here tomorrow but says he's not sure he will come home and if he can face me.
I don't know...........
I think demanding threesomes or else we are done is pretty extreme. and that we should work on us as a couple and as a family.
But he thinks i shouldn't even hesitate and i should want to do it on a regular basis.

 

[RandomDude]

He's being ruled by his ****

This is pretty fking messed up and he obviously lost respect for you at the same time no matter how much he wants it considering the way he is treating you

My wife handled my MMF/MFF fantasies very well, and very simply - she told me to fk off. And hey what do you know - my respect for her rose. Respect isn't something controlled by will, I can hate someone but still respect them, I can hate someone but still trust them. It's something earned on an individual basis

Right now, stand strong, and say no to it... wait... the word no is not enough. Say NEVER
You obviously don't want it or like it

Stop letting him control you and your body like this, if he wants to walk, let him! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF

 

[RunawayP]

It is very extreme. And very unreasonable.
Do you want to be married to a guy who isn't willing to accept and respect your feelings, after you have given it a try even? I personally would tell him no, and that if he wants to leave then by all means, leave, but if he chooses to stay then he needs to respect your feelings and move on.
Forcing you to do this would be so, so wrong. Verging on spousal rape, even. Do not give in to his demands, it's not worth it. He isn't worth it if he can't respect you, your body and your feelings.

 

[jfv]

You might have to fight extreme with extreme. File for divorce, you don't have to go through with it if he's willing to change but file and see how he reacts to that. Btw, he sounds unstable.

 

[3Xnocharm]

Then be done..

 

[CanadianGuy]

You are being sexually abused. I am sorry your husband is putting you through this BS.

Next time he says it's a threesome or your done tell him your done.

Look after yourself please. Do not degrade yourself further by agreeing to any of this. You're worth it.

Or perhaps on your next mmf he'd like to take one for the team?

 

[RandomDude]

I feel bad for my ex really to be honest, I used to share her and fk other women on her watch and I lost complete respect for her even though I enjoyed it sexually

My wife who "stole" me from my ex (even though she denies it) would never and has never let me indulge in this, and I respect her for it, and with that respect comes true love.

But not like this... not like this... I couldn't love my ex even though it was my idea all along, she did everything sexually for me, but that wasn't enough. She did not satisfy my need for a long-term relationship... and in that. I need a woman who I can be proud to call my wife, a woman who I can hold and walk together side by side with, not having to drag her along as if she's my daughter.

My wife saved our marriage by standing up for herself. Please do the same and if not for your relationship, at least for yourself!

 

[CH]

Did you pack his bags for him and tell him goodbye?

 

[Caribbean Man]

Why do you want to stay married to this man?
Hold on to your son and self respect , and let go of this man.
If you are employed, better yet.
If you are unemployed,then it's time to start working on an exit strategy.
He does not respect you and WILL cheat anyway.

 

[kipani]

Gross! This man is going to use this as an excuse to cheat on you and then blame YOU for it because you didn't want to have threesomes. Throw 2 dildos at his head and tell him to have a threesome with those!

You are UNCOMFORTABLE with this. You've done it before and you don't really care for it. If I were you, I'd demand sexual favors that will make HIM extremely uncomfortable. Force him to wear the shoes he's trying to force YOU to wear!

MOST couples break up soon after participating in a threesome. If you want to have sex with someone else and your girlfriend isn't enough get out of the relationship - because you don't value her. You don't value your relationship. You don't. Seriously if I ever had a threesome, there would be severe jealousy issues. I'd wonder if he worked on her more, if he paid more attention to her.

Get some self esteem and get out.

http://www.helium.com/items/1076739-do-threesomes-spoil-a-relationship-or-spice-it-up

 

[Ryan_sa]

I've had a fantasy of having a FFM three-way with my wife for as long as I can remember, however she said no, it doesn't turn her on, and that was the end of it. I could probably push her into it, force her to do it just for my selfish pleasure, but how much pleasure would I get from my wife doing something like that out of guilt, its no better than rape. How would I look into her eyes later and cope with the pain?

If your husband feels that strongly about it, and you want to stay together then he has to get over it.
Ask him how he would feel if the other man was better than him? what would happen if you started falling in love with the other guy?

You've tried, probably more than most people out there. that alone should be enough.

I know it going to be hard for you, but the only option I can see is you really putting your foot down, It sounds like you do a lot just to please him. Maybe its time for him to please you? Its time he started to respect you as his wife, and as a woman.
If he wants to start making your life hell, warn him what could happen if you did the same thing, make him sleep in the spare room, and have sex on your terms.
Also have a look at what porn hes into, I'll bet that's where he gets a lot of his ideas from.
I think sex is VERY important in a marriage, For me its an affirmation that every things ok, we love each other, and were happy.
What ever happens stay true to yourself, and good luck

Ive just read your other post about your husband always wanting sex, and nothing else from you. I think you need to explain to him very clearly that your marriage is broken, and you need to see a therapist. Some of the things I've read make me think there is a lot more going on.

 

[Acoa]

I like many men have fantasies of a MFF threesome. But the are better off being just that, a fantasy.

My wife would never agree to one, and if I did manage to coerce her into one I would lose a lot of respect for her(and myself). That is a douchey thing to do.

I agree with the other posters. When he demands it tell him no. If he says its a threesome or he leaves, show him to the door.

 

[Jellybeans]

Then be done..

Exactly. This man has no respect for you. At all. Tell him "Then we're done."
Posted via Mobile Device



********************** | ***************************************** | ***************************************

 

[CandieGirl]

Sorry, but you can't undo what you've already done...of course he wants more, you've already given in! Threesomes = a license to cheat. The kind of behaviour that should be reserved for singles.

 

[MEM2020]

If you want to have any chance at saving your marriage, you need to do a 180.

Read up on what a 180 is. Your H is a massive emotional bully.

Well after 12 years together my husband is telling me that there is no solution and if I do not have threesomes and make them a regular occurrence we are done!
We have had a mff when we first got together, Not a good time for me. Very uncomfortable. Haven't had one after. 9- 10 years of saying he wants one and describing and asking and telling. We have 2 times with mmf. First time wasn't to bad, I was very terrified, scared and excited about it. Went ok. But husband felt that kissing wasn't ok. and started planning more threesomes and foursomes. I was uncomfortable thinking about doing more. We try and plan another threesome, for what ever reason didn't work out for the night he wanted it to so he was very mean and hateful toward me that night. but next day says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Then a month or so after that we do our second time mmf with same guy. It was a violating experience for me. I had felt horrible afterwards and i have told my husband I do not want to live this life. I have tried it and its not for me.
Well he wants it all the time now says he doesn't want to work on just us. He wants threesomes or we are done. He says that i have to do it or he is going to do it anyways. Says he hasn't cheated. and doesn't want to but he needs us to have threesomes. no matter what. I tell him no it not the life for me not what i want and we can work on just us in the bed room if he wants. but he says no. its not to much to ask for me to do this for him. And he's done with us if I don't. He says he is already becoming resentful of me because i will not go and have more threesomes.
He says there is no solution because I am not willing to budge from no threesomes and lets work on us and he is not willing to budge on having threesomes on a regular basis. Either way one of us is unhappy he says and will become hateful and resentful of the other.
I have tried to talk to him and tell him that i love him and we can go to counseling but he says no he will not go. Counseling is for ppl that don't know what they want. I am trying at this point to talk to him with out to much emotion running into my voice but its hard. He is now telling me I'm so stupid and to thick skulled to hear what he is saying and i have the power to stop this break up from happening as long as i have threesomes. But that is not ok with me. Forced to do something i don't want just to save something that he doesn't want to fix. or work on.
He says that in every other department of our life and marriage he is happy and content with and I am a wonderful wife he couldn't ask for any better. But the threesomes are a major thing for him and If i do not do them It is a deal breaker.
I am scared. and I'm not afraid to say that. We have a son that just started school. and when ever i have said that he's doing this saying good bye doesn't only affect me but another person too he says he doesn't want to talk about it. I am trying to talk to him rationally as well but he has already said we will not continue to be nicey nicey to each other that we will be hateful. i said i won't he said he will and he will make my life a hell.
I don't know what to feel this all feels surreal to me. I want to spare my sons feelings and try and have this all go smoothly as not to affect him to much. but not sure where to start.
But back to my husband he is working away and saying all of this on the phone to me but said it would be no different in the feeling department if he was home. He is spose to be coming off on days off here tomorrow but says he's not sure he will come home and if he can face me.
I don't know...........
I think demanding threesomes or else we are done is pretty extreme. and that we should work on us as a couple and as a family.
But he thinks i shouldn't even hesitate and i should want to do it on a regular basis.

 

[40isthenew20]

This guy is a JO and either a cuckhold or closet queen. Why the insistence of having another male involved and even hinging your marriage and the proper raising of your child over it? You need to fix this or let him leave. Call his bluff.

 

[richie33]

Next threesome have the guy mount him and bang your husband. Unless that's his thing.
What he is doing to you is called abuse. You spent too long with this loser.
Posted via Mobile Device

 

[Jellybeans]

Also, what kind of example do your want you son to have as a father?

Because ...this guy is a pig.



********************** | ***************************************** | ***************************************

 

[Jellybeans]

He wants threesomes or we are done. He says that i have to do it or he is going to do it anyways.

Then tell him "Ok. Have fun with your 3somes because I am not doing them."

He has a choice, but you also have one.

Says he hasn't cheated. and doesn't want to but he needs us to have threesomes. no matter what. I tell him no it not the life for me not what i want and we can work on just us in the bed room if he wants. but he says no. its not to much to ask for me to do this for him. And he's done with us if I don't. He says he is already becoming resentful of me because i will not go and have more threesomes.

Seriously? This guy has issues. He is very controlling. He wants you to be uncomfortable and knows you don't like it and yet is threatening to cheat & do it anyway if you don't participate. That is not love.

He is now telling me I'm so stupid and to thick skulled to hear what he is saying and i have the power to stop this break up from happening as long as i have threesomes.

But the threesomes are a major thing for him and If i do not do them It is a deal breaker.

Ok then let him have his dealbreaker. Cause you have yours, too.

Be done if he won't respect you feelings on the matter.

Most men, IMO, do not want to share their wife repeatedly with other men/people.



********************** | ***************************************** | ***************************************

 

[costa200]

Well after 12 years together my husband is telling me that there is no solution and if I do not have threesomes and make them a regular occurrence we are done!
We have had a mff when we first got together, Not a good time for me. Very uncomfortable. Haven't had one after. 9- 10 years of saying he wants one and describing and asking and telling. We have 2 times with mmf. First time wasn't to bad, I was very terrified, scared and excited about it. Went ok. But husband felt that kissing wasn't ok. and started planning more threesomes and foursomes. I was uncomfortable thinking about doing more. We try and plan another threesome, for what ever reason didn't work out for the night he wanted it to so he was very mean and hateful toward me that night. but next day says he doesn't know what I'm talking about. Then a month or so after that we do our second time mmf with same guy. It was a violating experience for me. I had felt horrible afterwards and i have told my husband I do not want to live this life. I have tried it and its not for me.
Well he wants it all the time now says he doesn't want to work on just us. He wants threesomes or we are done. He says that i have to do it or he is going to do it anyways. Says he hasn't cheated. and doesn't want to but he needs us to have threesomes. no matter what. I tell him no it not the life for me not what i want and we can work on just us in the bed room if he wants. but he says no. its not to much to ask for me to do this for him. And he's done with us if I don't. He says he is already becoming resentful of me because i will not go and have more threesomes.
He says there is no solution because I am not willing to budge from no threesomes and lets work on us and he is not willing to budge on having threesomes on a regular basis. Either way one of us is unhappy he says and will become hateful and resentful of the other.
I have tried to talk to him and tell him that i love him and we can go to counseling but he says no he will not go. Counseling is for ppl that don't know what they want. I am trying at this point to talk to him with out to much emotion running into my voice but its hard. He is now telling me I'm so stupid and to thick skulled to hear what he is saying and i have the power to stop this break up from happening as long as i have threesomes. But that is not ok with me. Forced to do something i don't want just to save something that he doesn't want to fix. or work on.
He says that in every other department of our life and marriage he is happy and content with and I am a wonderful wife he couldn't ask for any better. But the threesomes are a major thing for him and If i do not do them It is a deal breaker.
I am scared. and I'm not afraid to say that. We have a son that just started school. and when ever i have said that he's doing this saying good bye doesn't only affect me but another person too he says he doesn't want to talk about it. I am trying to talk to him rationally as well but he has already said we will not continue to be nicey nicey to each other that we will be hateful. i said i won't he said he will and he will make my life a hell.
I don't know what to feel this all feels surreal to me. I want to spare my sons feelings and try and have this all go smoothly as not to affect him to much. but not sure where to start.
But back to my husband he is working away and saying all of this on the phone to me but said it would be no different in the feeling department if he was home. He is spose to be coming off on days off here tomorrow but says he's not sure he will come home and if he can face me.
I don't know...........
I think demanding threesomes or else we are done is pretty extreme. and that we should work on us as a couple and as a family.
But he thinks i shouldn't even hesitate and i should want to do it on a regular basis.

I have bad news and good news. The bad is that your marriage can't continue with such a level of disrespect on his part. The good news is that you aren't really losing that much by the looks of it. And your hubby is very likely to be a closet homosexual to have that kind of insistence in seeing with another guy. He is living his girly dreams through you. Are interested in being his proxy?