You forgot the part where she doesn't want sex with you because she's getting it elsewhere
I agree with this. There are MANY reasons why both men and women aren't interested in sex. I can add in abusive childhoods, religious shame, guilt from parents, etc.Thoughts of some things that have nothing to do with a lover's attractiveness or abilities...
Artificial influences, like birth control medications
Aging/natural physical changes
Mental/emotional issues, including self esteem
This was a list I came up with at the end of my marriage as possible reasons... I could just be deluding myself, though.
:iagree:Attraction does make senses in most cases. And everyone can learn to be a good lover, if they wanted to learn.
How do you keep the attraction is the key for happy long term relationship.
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That's like saying someone died because their heart stopped...Seems to me that resentment often leads to not finding your partner attractive.
Chicken or the egg? When ever I try anymore to look past the physically unattractiveness I am stopped in my tracks by resentments. I think all of that, what she's said and over the years and continues to say and do makes her less attractive than 50 or so excess pounds do.Seems to me that resentment often leads to not finding your partner attractive.
Exactly. The first thing I'd advise a guy is show LESS to your wife in terms of cooking, cleaning, housework, affection etc. Let her do more work. Let her give you the affection. Act like you don't give a crap.I have to say I agree to a certain extent...the amount of times I've read "I clean the house, I cook, I do the dishes, I go shopping, I do laundry, I listen to and cater to her needs...but my wife won't have sex with me!!!"......blah.....like dude...man the fvck up!!! You sound like the perfect housewife lol!
Sorry but it still sounds like lack of attraction to me. If she was attracted to you she would keep the kids out long enough to have sex with you at least. Not recovered from the kids, tired, these are just excuses that every woman who doesn't want sex from her husband uses. If that's really the case then she can seek medical treatment. If she doesn't want to then its just lack of attraction.The problem with gross generalizations is that every situation is unique. My wife had a talk with me this weekend about sex (which is rare). She said that she her main reason for not being very sexual anymore is that she hasn't recovered from the kids yet. She's still very tired. Our kids are old enough to sleep in their own rooms, but her parenting style allows them to come back into our room waking her up multiple times per night. It's a nightmare scenario that I've tried to correct but she has shut me down.
Some of us are fat, but I'm not some smelly, small dcked, bad lover who repulses my wife with my presence. And that hard and fast bs is just that....BS. Some guys here will tell you that's the only way to do it, I'm here to tell you the female sexual organs aren't designed to feel pleasure from a jackhammering. We went over this in another thread. As a big strong dude and can hit it to win it and all it will accomplish is a lot of bleeding from her. If you can position yourself where your rubbing up against the G spot or hitting the other errogenous zones deep in the vaginal canal you're golden....
But some women still have great difficulty in acheiving climax through sex. So brush up on your tongue muscles and go to work on that clitoris. I have zero problems bringing my wife to orgasm through oral in combination with manual stimulation of the G spot. Drives her nuts.
But she's still sexless.