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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Had a long tearful kiss and make up yesterday morning...Whole day went well....After dinner we sat on the sofa, watched tv and shared a bottle of wine...cuddled a little and then I unzipped my pants....She responded "what the hell" Oh surely you don't expect SEX TONIGHT ....Long story short...She said I have to treat her MUCH better for MUCH longer before I can even THINK about sex.....

Last Sunday she said we couldn't have sex because she had a gyno appt. on the 8th, and didn't wast to be "all swollen"...Later retracted this BS and said she ment "the night before the appt., not all week...Then I checked, and the appt. wasn't till the 11th...

She was just pulling an excuse out of her a$$ it didn't have to make any sense...

Now it's You are "mean" to me, and I can't have sex with you till you treat me "better" for some unspecified length of time....If ever....I say F#CK THAT.......

In her words, I was just trying to get her drunk to F#CK her, and was manipulating her by "being nice"....

She then says "she won't have sex with her till I treat her better"

No sex till I treat her better.....Treating her better is manipulating her for sex, show me how I can win that one....DUHHH......Talk about a "NO WIN" situation.....I am sick of the struggle....

I have decided I probably can't be GOOD enough LONG enough to ever DESERVE sex with her....So this morning I am starting the divorce process.....
 

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Whoa whoa tiger. What else have you tried to do? Utilize your resourses and exercise every idea. Have you tried going a period of time (two weeks, maybe 3) where you didn't emphasize on sex? You know, kind of entertaining like she's brand woman in your life. I think where men get complacent is when we realize that we have the woman we want deadlocked until events like this occur where you have that moment of clarity that your mental spell no longer works. Do nice stuff or be "nice" to her as she mentioned for a period of time but be smooth about it. I think when I started with my W dating when we first met, I remember I never wanted her to feel pressured if we had sex. It was like if we had a good night and it happened, cool with me. If not, see what happens. I guess its hard when you live with someo ne because you're so use to seeing this person. That surprise factor is gone. You wake up with this person, sleep together, rinse and repeat. You don't just see the good side now, you see the bad and ugly side. Treat her like she is new and you might satisfy that bs timeline that she feels you have to go through until you deserve "it". You just have to show her you're doing it just because its dude, avoiding sex as the priority in her eyes. We know that's the ultimate goal. A wise woman told a long time ago. "Dont make the obvious, obvious". Meaning give her the good treatment without it appearing as a decoy for sex. You kind of stuck your foot in your mouth when you just started pulling your pants off. That may have worked in the pants but unfortunately your going to have to finesse it again before you can get back to just pulling your pants off. Think about it~
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I am 66 yo, she is 68...Neither of us are hotties, but you would think 46 years of mayyiage would count for something...
I doubt very much that it counts for anything. Why should it?

What you are currently doing is negotiating with her frontal lobe. That isn't the part that controls the desire for sex. You need to tap into the lizard brain.

If she feels you pulling away that will drive her attraction. It's instinct, it's biological. On the other hand going straight for divorce you make reconciliation a lot harder.

You should try Athol's MAP program if you haven't already. Even if it doesn't work on your wife you will be in a better position on the open market.
 

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So this morning I am starting the divorce process.....
Thank God.

Something tells me she's going to be floored when she gets served. I bet she does not even remotely see this coming at all, and assumed her hide-the-p*ssy game was going to keep you controlled into perpetuity.
 

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cuddled a little and then I unzipped my pants....She responded "what the hell" Oh surely you don't expect SEX TONIGHT ....Long story short...She said I have to treat her MUCH better for MUCH longer before I can even THINK about sex.....
That's a sh!t test!
I wonder how many times you have jumped through hoops just to get her attention/love/sex/affection/etc..

My wife used to say to me "You have to put me in the mood lighting candles, creating a romantic atmosphere etc.." guess what..it never worked!
The mistake was mine, for I threated her like a princess, and I was a servant. You need to stop this. I did. Things are not perfect but at least she treats me as her pair and the **** testing has decreased a lot, as well as "excuses" and procrastination for sex.

Read No More Mr. Nice Guy, it's a good start. I also downloaded the audiobook "Hold on to your N.U.T.S.", and it has some great advice for us men.
 

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Whoa whoa tiger. What else have you tried to do? Utilize your resourses and exercise every idea. Have you tried going a period of time (two weeks, maybe 3) where you didn't emphasize on sex? You know, kind of entertaining like she's brand woman in your life. I think where men get complacent is when we realize that we have the woman we want deadlocked until events like this occur where you have that moment of clarity that your mental spell no longer works. Do nice stuff or be "nice" to her as she mentioned for a period of time but be smooth about it. I think when I started with my W dating when we first met, I remember I never wanted her to feel pressured if we had sex. It was like if we had a good night and it happened, cool with me. If not, see what happens. I guess its hard when you live with someo ne because you're so use to seeing this person. That surprise factor is gone. You wake up with this person, sleep together, rinse and repeat. You don't just see the good side now, you see the bad and ugly side. Treat her like she is new and you might satisfy that bs timeline that she feels you have to go through until you deserve "it". You just have to show her you're doing it just because its dude, avoiding sex as the priority in her eyes. We know that's the ultimate goal. A wise woman told a long time ago. "Dont make the obvious, obvious". Meaning give her the good treatment without it appearing as a decoy for sex. You kind of stuck your foot in your mouth when you just started pulling your pants off. That may have worked in the pants but unfortunately your going to have to finesse it again before you can get back to just pulling your pants off. Think about it~
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No offense dude, but I think this is terrible advice and frankly you are in the same position as the OP based on the other thread you have going. You need to stop negotiating with her frontal lobe. You want equality? How about getting your wife to f#ck you like a baboon in heat.

Three words: Male Attraction Plan.
 

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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
Whoa whoa tiger. What else have you tried to do? Utilize your resourses and exercise every idea. Have you tried going a period of time (two weeks, maybe 3) where you didn't emphasize on sex? You know, kind of entertaining like she's brand woman in your life. I think where men get complacent is when we realize that we have the woman we want deadlocked until events like this occur where you have that moment of clarity that your mental spell no longer works. Do nice stuff or be "nice" to her as she mentioned for a period of time but be smooth about it. I think when I started with my W dating when we first met, I remember I never wanted her to feel pressured if we had sex. It was like if we had a good night and it happened, cool with me. If not, see what happens. I guess its hard when you live with someo ne because you're so use to seeing this person. That surprise factor is gone. You wake up with this person, sleep together, rinse and repeat. You don't just see the good side now, you see the bad and ugly side. Treat her like she is new and you might satisfy that bs timeline that she feels you have to go through until you deserve "it". You just have to show her you're doing it just because its dude, avoiding sex as the priority in her eyes. We know that's the ultimate goal. A wise woman told a long time ago. "Dont make the obvious, obvious". Meaning give her the good treatment without it appearing as a decoy for sex. You kind of stuck your foot in your mouth when you just started pulling your pants off. That may have worked in the pants but unfortunately your going to have to finesse it again before you can get back to just pulling your pants off. Think about it~
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Treat her nice....Here is an older post, last time we had sex.....

Talk about mood swings, went into her room last night, lay down beside her and gave her a long back rub...She started pulling her bottoms off, indicating I should rub lower, wound up making out like teen agers, and having great sex.......

Woke up this morning feeling like a newlywed, started to test my blood suger...She had cleaned off my nightstand, and the lancet was missing....I asked her where it was, and we were off to the races....

I told her not to worry, I would buy a new one, but she went off about me accusing her of loosing it....It had been there for 10 weeks without walking off by its self!!!

Went into the kitchen and got breakfast ready for dad.
i had already done ALL the shopping for Thanksgivivg, so I started the prep work, made corn bread for stuffing, chopped onions celery, green onions, bell pepper, sweet pickles, and peeled and chopped a dozen boiled eggs...

She had boiled the potatos, turkey giblets for the broth, and the eggs....She baked 3 pumpkin pies with frozen pie shells...

I made the potato salad, and cornbread stuffing. Now I have to feed dad his lunch, and get the smoker ready to do a 20 lb. turkey in the morning.

The whole time she filled the air with a steady stream of negativity about tomorrows company, what a downer the hollidays were, and how I had ruined her with overwork throught our marriage.

Then she put the potato salad and the stuffing in the fridge, cleaned up the work area, made a few cracks about how I would probably spend the rest of the say on the computer, and went for a lie down in her bedroom.......

Ya know somehow turkey day is starting to loose it's sparkle for me too...

___________________________________________________

If this is not being "nice" I dont know how to be....Forgot to mention, just before the blowup yesterday I told her to send a check for $100 to help pay her terminally ill nephiews rent....

Ya, I have pric#k written all over me........
 

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Discussion Starter · #16 ·
Gooooooooal!!!!!

Wierd day.....Absolutely ordinary, except I mentioned to her I had lost another 11 lbs., dressed in a really nice new shirt, Got out my whet stones and sharpenrd the kitchen knives (I like them to be shaving sharp). Sharpened an old cutthroat straight razor I had lying around, and shaved with it.....I think she was impressed...

She wanted subways for dinner, so I drove her over in the convertible to get them. She sat next to me on the sofa anf I offered, and gave her a long foot rub...Jokingly told her I would like to do more of the same to her a$$ later....Mixed some of my special essence of honeysuckle and sweet almond massage oil....

Without my asking she stripped buck naked and climbed up on the massage table....45 minutes later she asked "when was your last shower" I said in about 2 minutes....Mind numbing oral followed by a good old fashoned fuc#k....All without my asking for anything..........

The question is why.....Did all the overtly over the top alpha male crap...Big engined sports car, tricked out in great new duds, testosterone oozing shave with straight razor, weight loss...massage, etc make her realize she had a MAN in the house, and he needed tending to?

Whatever it was, I am not complaining.....
 

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Re: Gooooooooal!!!!!

The question is why.....
Dude you looked good, and you smelled good, and you didn't hide your sexuality and masculine virility. It shouldn't be a surprise as to why you got laid. You reminded her of the good looking man she married!
 
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