I love my wife, not actually married but we have been together for 17 years with 3 kids so i feel like she is my wife. Since late October she has cut of sex, not only sex but any affection at all, no hand holding, no kissing, nothing. She say she has no desire for it at all, not even enough for a HJ or BJ to quell my desire. She says she feels fats and unattractive. She has put on some weight over the year but the suffers from Hypothyroid so its understandable that she had gained a little but i find her to absolutely Hot, i love her curves, she is beautiful. When the cut off came about her thyroid was spiraling out of control and for any of you out there that have a spouse with a thyroid disorder im sure you know how it affects a relationship. She has had this issue for nearly 16 years and over this time it just got worse and worse even with a doctors help. A couple months back i took her off her meds and we went the natural route and it has made a huge difference in how she feels except for the libido. Needless to say this is causing some huge issues for us. Im getting more and more angry about being ignored and im lashing out at her, i dont know maybe trying to make her feel what how she is making me feel. Childish i know but it happens and this just makes things worse. I get rejected on a daily bases and im feeling pretty worthless. She says to me "what do you want me to do, just lay there?" She acts like its just about having sex, like there is nothing more to it than an act of me getting off. I miss her, i miss being with her, i miss that connection, spiritual and physical. Right now im nothing more than a room mate that shares a bed. I have to see her undress every night and get dressed every morning and i crave her so bad. I don't want to look at porn, i don't want to have to masturbate when i have such a beautiful women laying next to me that i should be able to enjoy. I feel like 17 years is about to be wasted, i feel like she is absolutely willing to wreck her family over this. Im supposed to just deal with it till she feels that flicker yet she she cant find it in herself to even try. I know she is not having an affair and i know alot if has to do with the thyroid issue which has caused havoc on her. Also im not helping by getting so frustrated either. It feels like a sinkhole i cant get out of. One time of the past 5 months she allowed me to give her an orgasm, we used a toy and oral and she enjoyed it but she wouldn't allow sex afterwards. I can get her off with toy and im not good enough. Well i brought that up to her and that did not go over well, she said nothing is good enough for me, i always want more. I have received two HJ which was nice and yes i did want more, want to be with her. Now is nothing at all due to me wanting more. I don't get it, i should want more, i would think she would find it offensive if i didn't. Like i said im in a sinkhole and i cant find away out. Any advice would be great.