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I have a question that's been bugging me for some time. My boyfriend and I never had a phase where we were gaga for each other and needed to spend every waking moment together. It's like we skipped the falling in love phase and jumped right into loving each other. I love him, and he says he loves me. We have terrific sex, it's just that there has been no 'romancing'. Does anyone else have any experience with this type of relationship? Do we need the falling in love stuff, or can the relationship survive long term without it? I'm pretty new at this relationship thing as I married my high school sweetheart and just recently divorced two years ago at 41. My boyfriend is a great guy and we've been dating for over a year. Just wondering what you all think.
 

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If you're both happy with your relationship, then not having a "gaga" romance isn't going to make or break it!

There are basically 5 relationship stages. There's the attraction phase, an uncertainty phase, a power struggle phase, and a resolution (soul mate) stage. We can go back and forth through them at different times in our relationships. Many couples experience a huge power struggle stage early on, and others barely experience it at all. Sounds like you and your guy "barely" experienced the attraction phase, but that doesn't mean your relationship is doomed!
 

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I actually do think the gaga feelings are necessary to keep long term attraction alive. But I also think that no every one feels the same way I do, so it must be an individual thing. For MYSELF, I need to feel the gaga and wouldn't want to be in a long term relationship without it. Without the gaga, I would feel like I was in a relationship with my brother.
 

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Good Question.

I'm not sure its a bad thing especially if the sex is great and your feeling plenty of chemistry now. May actually be a good thing if it started out more as friends and slowly developed into more. Sometimes that gaga feeling comes on fast and furious and leaves just as quickly because the couple didnt have much besides the physical chemistry.

If you are feeling complacent or a significant lack of intensity I might be concerned.
 

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Nope. But we’re Lutherans and everything you’ve ever heard on Prairie Home Companion is pretty much true.

We’re stoic, sturdy folks, not given to wild displays of wailing in church or speaking in tongues. No weeping over the baby Jesus, no railing about sins, hell fire and brimstone from the preacher.

So if either of us were to ever feel “gaga”; well, it’d be very uncomfortable for the both of us.

That’s not to say that the past 17 years have been anything less than absolutely remarkable. :FIREdevil:
 

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If you've ever felt anticipation in getting together after being apart, I say you have felt the gaga. The butterflies, the heart racing, it's all the gaga. It doesn't have to be constant.
 
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