Woah, you are assuming WAY too much. My discussion of my Christianity has everything to do with the expectation of the commitment and nothing to do with how the marriage was going. If you have read all of my posts it would be obvious that from my misery and that of my spouse that neither had some strange delusion that as Christians we were exempt from problems or that we were blind to them. Nope, I am fully aware of my failing to love my wife as God expected me to love her, but before you think that this somehow nullifies my Christianity I would like to remind you that Christianity is not about being perfect. We try and we often fail. Failing is part of the human condition. It's what Christ's sacrifice is all about.As a fellow Christian, I would like to propose that the WS, BS, offending spouse, whatever he/she is, may often use their "Christianity" as proof, in some strange way, that their marriage is OK. That they're not screwing up. A false sense of security that allows them to completely overlook their own issues. Allows them to truly believe they are in a happy marriage, without taking into consideration the views of their partner. That the fact that they have been married for 10, 17, 25, 40 years... that that alone is proof of a good or happy marriage.
It is so weird. But I think I'm seeing some of this in your own writings.