Hello all, I am in a marriage where I work full time making well above average salary. When we got married she decided to work part-time so she can take care of the house and her kids. I was not too happy with it but I let her make the decision. At this time we also combined our finance and my paychecks are deposited to our joint account 100%, which I can't even remember my online log in info. She handles the finance 100% and I do not seem to have any input in regards to our finance.
Before we got married I had very secure financial future by putting my money in savings account and retirement accounts, always turn off the light when I leave the house, save on grocery by buying cheaper products, never bought a new car, shop for clothes twice a year when they are on sale, try to cook most of my meals at home etc...
Now we are in very tight spot where we live paycheck by paycheck with NO savings, even to the point where we are spending more than we make. When I ask please turn the lights off when you leave it's ignored. When I say we don't need to run the washer for 5 t-shirts it's ignored. When I make suggestion on what we should buy at grocery it's ignored. When I suggest how much we should spend on holiday gifts it's ignored. When I suggested that her kids should contribute part of their paycheck, if they want longer talk time and mobile data plan, we end up in an argument. I feel like she is telling me that I am sort of talking things away from her kids, I do not have kids of my own. They are in their 20's with part time job and we pay for all their basic needs and insurance. Our house mortgage payments is about 25% of my salary. My monthly spending, including commute cost and personal spending is about 12% of my salary. I know our income is above many people we know and yet she does not understand how they can save so much.
Am I being too uptight or my point of view completely wrong? Any suggestion on how to approach her? Is it wrong for me to say I should have at least 50% of input on how we spends our money? I feel like when I try to talk to her somehow she get an impression that I am not trusting her, I am going to take away things from her kids, she wrong and she is that....balh blah blah All I really want is to have secure financial future.
Before we got married I had very secure financial future by putting my money in savings account and retirement accounts, always turn off the light when I leave the house, save on grocery by buying cheaper products, never bought a new car, shop for clothes twice a year when they are on sale, try to cook most of my meals at home etc...
Now we are in very tight spot where we live paycheck by paycheck with NO savings, even to the point where we are spending more than we make. When I ask please turn the lights off when you leave it's ignored. When I say we don't need to run the washer for 5 t-shirts it's ignored. When I make suggestion on what we should buy at grocery it's ignored. When I suggest how much we should spend on holiday gifts it's ignored. When I suggested that her kids should contribute part of their paycheck, if they want longer talk time and mobile data plan, we end up in an argument. I feel like she is telling me that I am sort of talking things away from her kids, I do not have kids of my own. They are in their 20's with part time job and we pay for all their basic needs and insurance. Our house mortgage payments is about 25% of my salary. My monthly spending, including commute cost and personal spending is about 12% of my salary. I know our income is above many people we know and yet she does not understand how they can save so much.
Am I being too uptight or my point of view completely wrong? Any suggestion on how to approach her? Is it wrong for me to say I should have at least 50% of input on how we spends our money? I feel like when I try to talk to her somehow she get an impression that I am not trusting her, I am going to take away things from her kids, she wrong and she is that....balh blah blah All I really want is to have secure financial future.