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I've browsed the MMSL history and am currently reading NMMNG. The no-nonsense approach the authors take, along with my personal history have made these seem like good choices for me. On TAM, I really only see praise for both programs. I've always found a lot of value in negative reviews, as well.

I'm wondering, are there negative opinions on these two programs? I'm not looking for "I hated it," but rather an explanation about why it didn't work for you. Keep in mind that I don't have a position on either of these texts, nor any interest for or against them. I just wanted to see if TAM users had feedback that hasn't come to the surface yet.

About me... I'm struggling in a low sex, high rejection marriage. We've been together 18 years (on-again off-again in the early days), married for 8 years, with a toddler. I'm definitely high drive (desire 3-7 times weekly), and I believe she would be classified as low drive (claims desire 2x weekly, responds disinterestedly 3x monthly, and I suspect really only wants sex monthly).
 

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I've browsed the MMSL history and am currently reading NMMNG. The no-nonsense approach the authors take, along with my personal history have made these seem like good choices for me. On TAM, I really only see praise for both programs. I've always found a lot of value in negative reviews, as well.

I'm wondering, are there negative opinions on these two programs? I'm not looking for "I hated it," but rather an explanation about why it didn't work for you. Keep in mind that I don't have a position on either of these texts, nor any interest for or against them. I just wanted to see if TAM users had feedback that hasn't come to the surface yet.

About me... I'm struggling in a low sex, high rejection marriage. We've been together 18 years (on-again off-again in the early days), married for 8 years, with a toddler. I'm definitely high drive (desire 3-7 times weekly), and I believe she would be classified as low drive (claims desire 2x weekly, responds disinterestedly 3x monthly, and I suspect really only wants sex monthly).
Congrats,
You've decided to take the " red pill."
Don't hesitate.
Read the books,
What's important is how it can work for you and your marriage.
Even if the problem in your marriage doesn't change, you would be in a better place when you decide to move on.
And I say when, because sometimes moving on is the next best option.
Enjoy the books.
 

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I pretty much righted my marriage with these books and one other. To me they exhorted common sense and reminded me to get back to basics. Though they are good for self improvement, they do not complete the true picture of a marriage. The book that got me the marriage I wanted was. "His Needs, Her Needs" by W Harley. Good luck on your quest.
 

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As long as the problem is that you are too nice, these books are a solution. Just keep in mind that there are other problems in marriage besides that, that might not be solved by running Athol's MAP for example.
 

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There have been some negative opinions on this site about MMSL, yes.

However, the negative opinions I've observed have not been by men who have tried its initiatives and reported that its initiatives are flawed. I recall I have read a few negative opinions from some women who feel that MMSL's informal blogese, its written style and format (on a blog, imagine that!), demeans the serious business of marriage and downplays the value of women. There may have been some other negative opinions about it by women, but I don't recall the others.

At any rate, most men feel that it is common sense packaged neatly concerning marriage that works like an antidote to social programming by recent works of media and popular culture. Some women whose husbands are sexually elusive, applying the directions by substituting the "husband's" advice for themselves, have found it to be sound advice that applies for them, too. Alternately, some women, who wish their husbands took more initiative, have referred their husbands to MMSL hoping they digest some of the thoughts presented as straight advice.
 

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I agree with east2west; my negative review its that my husband was not nice and his interpretation of mmsl (not nmmng) was justification to become a jerk.
'I'm short on time, but that's the jist of my experience.
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Being a jerk is childish, not manly. I think his interpretation was way off. Hope he's back on track
 

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I've read those and found that it was just basic stuff every man should know (but many don't). Not exactly groundbreaking stuff. But the only negative reviews i ever saw were written by women. Men seem generally pleased with them. Just don't expect Shakespearian level writing style.
 
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