It's a terminology thing. I think a lot of women like nice guys, but it's better to think of the NMMNG "nice guy" as a doormat.
Not too many women like a doormat.
Not too many women like a doormat.
After enough of what i think can be considered "super alpha male" types to last me a lifetime,I crave the nice guy.I read an awful lot of NMMNG comments and see a lot of nice guys who post and aren't appreciated. I 'get it' that sometimes a woman wants to be 'taken' sometimes or wants the man to be decisive or protective but I would give anything for a "nice guy".
I'm sure it's my history but being married for 13 years to a narcissistic, type A (type H, actually) Alpha male just completely turned me off to Alphas.
Am I the only woman who LIKES the idea of a nice guy? Someone considerate, helpful and thoughtful. Some other woman's trash is my treasure.
While there is certainly some of this, I think a lot is due to human nature. When nice guys constantly sacrifice so that their wife likes them, it becomes the norm. This is no different than anything else.My exH is Super AlphaMan & I left him. However he was a very aggressive alpha & very few people, let alone women, like that type of personality. I like nice guys, not doormats.
I see lots of posts from nice guys whose wives treat them like sh_t & frankly those wives are b_tches.
Maybe if the nice guys would "alpha up" a bit, the wives would be nicer but I doubt it. In most cases, the wives would just get b_tchier & that is NOT the desired result.
People need to be very careful when selecting a partner to marry. If the woman is entitled, spoiled, b_tchy no matter how hot she is, a nice guy should think very carefully before marrying her or he will wind up here posting about it.
Of course the above is not gender specific, but the post is talking about nice guys.
For the record I see through my husband now. I see that yes all he wants is for me to love him. I think I've come a long way in convincing him that I WANT to meet his needs all he has to do is ask.I agree it is a disconnect involving what a "nice guy" is. Mavesh hits it on the head when she writes about the bad type of "nice guy". This is the guy that thinks that being nice enough will get them loved. That people will see these sacrifices and appreciate them. The problem is that it does not work over the long haul. When one person is always sacrificing, the other has a naturally tendancy to just accept that. That breeds disrespect and resentment.
NAWALTI read an awful lot of NMMNG comments and see a lot of nice guys who post and aren't appreciated. I 'get it' that sometimes a woman wants to be 'taken' sometimes or wants the man to be decisive or protective but I would give anything for a "nice guy".
I'm sure it's my history but being married for 13 years to a narcissistic, type A (type H, actually) Alpha male just completely turned me off to Alphas.
Am I the only woman who LIKES the idea of a nice guy? Someone considerate, helpful and thoughtful. Some other woman's trash is my treasure.
I am married to the most thoughtful, nicest man I have ever met, but I dislike the kind of person that I call a "nice guy" - a euphemism for the passive aggressive type that tries to control their partner through displays of weakness or kindness. "Nice guys" are anything but nice! They're controlling and manipulative.I read an awful lot of NMMNG comments and see a lot of nice guys who post and aren't appreciated. I 'get it' that sometimes a woman wants to be 'taken' sometimes or wants the man to be decisive or protective but I would give anything for a "nice guy".
I'm sure it's my history but being married for 13 years to a narcissistic, type A (type H, actually) Alpha male just completely turned me off to Alphas.
Am I the only woman who LIKES the idea of a nice guy? Someone considerate, helpful and thoughtful. Some other woman's trash is my treasure.
:iagree: with everything said here 100%.I am married to the most thoughtful, nicest man I have ever met, but I dislike the kind of person that I call a "nice guy" - a euphemism for the passive aggressive type that tries to control their partner through displays of weakness or kindness. "Nice guys" are anything but nice! They're controlling and manipulative.
In my mind, there's the "nice guy" and then there is a "good man." It's one of the topics I wrote about on my blog because the men who do this feel like they're left in the dust. The good men, on the other hand, are snatched up quickly and never have to wonder.