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Do yourself a huge favor and take some of the money that YOU'VE earned and retain yourself a lawyer today. Hopefully, the loser won't expect you to pay for HIS lawyer on top of everything else.
Yeah, don’t pay for his lawyer. And this brings up a good point: are your finances separated? If so, score for you! If not, get them separated out now. If he doesn’t want to work, I don’t feel like he should be entitled to your hard-earned money.
 

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Discussion Starter #23
Thank you all for your honest advice and opinions. Sometimes it's better to have advice from a fresh outside view with all the facts laid out. Of course, my family and friends will be biased because they will always take my side. It is very clear to me and an eye opener. Too bad, it had to take this long, but I'm still young for the most part.
@Hopeful Cynic is so right. When I left him the first time, he made all these promises and kept them for a good year or so, and then after we married he went back to his old self. You are soo right, this is his true self and he will never change.
 

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When I left him the first time, he made all these promises and kept them for a good year or so, and then after we married he went back to his old self. You are soo right, this is his true self and he will never change.
That's because most people at their core really don't change. It was all a dog and pony show to keep you around (he's got nothing else going on in his life so he didn't want to lose the only thing he DOES have). I'm actually surprised he lasted a whole year before reverting back to who he really is.

A word of advice - when someone shows you who they are, you need to believe them.

He's shown you - over and over and over and over and over and over again, exactly who he is. Believe him.
 

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Livvy05 said:
he has anxiety disorder which is stemming from him not wanting to leave his parents.
His anxiety disorder causes him to not want to leave. His mother trained him well, to be there to meet HER needs. He can't meet hers, and yours. She made a surrogate husband out of him, one she can control through his warped sense of "duty" being first to his mother. He's, in his misguided way, trying to be good to his parents and honor them.

Livvy05 said:
They support him 100% so that gives him no motivation to work
His lack of motivation comes from a deep-seated inner belief about himself, that he CANNOT work, apart from the family business.

Like always, @She'sStillGotIt has still got it. People at their core don't really change. This guy is 33. If he were going to be his own man, he would have been that at 17.

I cannot easily bring myself to advise you to divorce him. There's just no grounds, I'm 66 and the "roots of my raisin' run deep"....but, I unfortunately, have to agree with the others that he's not going to change. If he were running the bars and chasing women, I would have no problem telling you to waste him.

Actually, in my old age, I've come to understand that divorce may be the "gnat" and living in a worthless marriage the "camel". And, in a strange way, I think a divorce may be more a relief than an imposed insult to him.
 
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