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That is exactly my thinking and what i tried to get across to her. But she doesn't think it matters, its not an issue for her. She is more open about sex and nudity than me so she doesn't see the problem of going looking, except i think the environment and the atmosphere looking can quickly become unsatisfactory and a grab or rub is required especially when drink is involved.

She says it wouldn't bother her if i went to a strip club but I know if i told her i had been she wouldn't be happy about, plus you get away with a lot more with male strippers than female strippers.
Bit of a double standard that she won't stand for you getting a lap dance... does she not see that she has rules that she expects you to abide by even if they're no big deal to you? She's asking you to respect her wishes, but does not see that RESPECT needing to be a two way dynamic...
 

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Discussion Starter · #103 ·
I get the impression that she is going to go and you will back down and suck it up and the next time she disregards your feelings you will do the same.
I've got no doubt she'll go after we talked yesterday, she doesn't think its a problem. Think now though this issue and reading these forums has made me realise how much she doesn't care about my feelings if it going to stop her having 'Fun'. maybe it is time to go
 

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Discussion Starter · #105 ·
Bit of a double standard that she won't stand for you getting a lap dance... does she not see that she has rules that she expects you to abide by even if they're no big deal to you? She's asking you to respect her wishes, but does not see that RESPECT needing to be a two way dynamic...
she said it wouldn't bother her, but every time she sees me talking to some other lass, she gets very jealous and questions everything so I know if went to strippers and had a lap dance she'd hate it. maybe not as much as me but she definitely would.

When I mention her boundaries she now says she didn't mean them or was being over dramatic, i.e. she would leave if I started smoking again. Just says what she wants to justify her actions.
 

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Yeah I've heard a lot of stories of married/GF sleeping with the strippers. I am concerned but trust that she wouldn't sleep with one.
I am a woman. In college the bar I tended had male strippers on Sunday nights. The strippers were all gay. Not one of them would have touched a member of the crowd with somebody else's johnson. The only straight men in the place were the male bartenders. To a man, every one of the bartenders thought the female customers were gross & unattractive based on the vulgar ways they behaved with the strippers.

At least in that bar there was no way a customer was leaving that bar with a man for sex.
 

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pretty much did but don't think she believes I'll do anything
Are your parents or other family nearby? What if you told her you were packing up the kids and going to your parents for a few days to evaluate your relationship while she is having fun watching swinging Richards with her mom?

Have you asked her why she doesn't consider your feelings to be valid? How do you think she would react to reading the comments in this thread?
 

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she said it wouldn't bother her, but every time she sees me talking to some other lass, she gets very jealous and questions everything so I know if went to strippers and had a lap dance she'd hate it. maybe not as much as me but she definitely would.

When I mention her boundaries she now says she didn't mean them or was being over dramatic, i.e. she would leave if I started smoking again. Just says what she wants to justify her actions.
I'm not the type to play games, I hate 'em, so take that into account when I say, I'd be tempted to go to a strip club with the guys before she goes on her strip club get together with her mom. She needs to see her own hypocrisy in the full light of day and make a decision re her level of respect for you. I know others here will disagree with this tactic, so would I normally.
 

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I'm not the type to play games, I hate 'em, so take that into account when I say, I'd be tempted to go to a strip club with the guys before she goes on her strip club get together with her mom. She needs to see her own hypocrisy in the full light of day and make a decision re her level of respect for you. I know others here will disagree with this tactic, so would I normally.
How often do you go out with your guy friends to places where the opposite sex is frequented? I'm guessing not near as much as your gf does.

You are now backed into a corner where your only response is to leave. Your gf has very little respect for you and talking to her about it isn't going to help.

She needs to see actions from you and that starts by holding firm to your boundaries. Women respect men who follow thru with what they say.

You also need to be prepared for her to be ok with it too. She has already demonstrated a lack of emotional attachment to you so be prepared for her to let you go and play the victim.

Your only other option is to accept your role as doormat and she will push your boundaries further and further making your life a living hell.
 

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Discussion Starter · #113 ·
Are your parents or other family nearby? What if you told her you were packing up the kids and going to your parents for a few days to evaluate your relationship while she is having fun watching swinging Richards with her mom?

Have you asked her why she doesn't consider your feelings to be valid? How do you think she would react to reading the comments in this thread?
That would cause mayhem if I said I was taking the kids with me as well. I work full time as well so wouldn't be able to look after them, she is off on maternity at the minute.

She just says she doesn't see the issue and thinks it is unheard of the have a problem with it and I'm being controlling by stopping her going. She always brings up my mistakes from the past, but once she made her feelings known I have never disrespected her or made the same mistake twice.
i think she would probably disagree with nearly every comment on here
 

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Discussion Starter · #114 ·
I'm not the type to play games, I hate 'em, so take that into account when I say, I'd be tempted to go to a strip club with the guys before she goes on her strip club get together with her mom. She needs to see her own hypocrisy in the full light of day and make a decision re her level of respect for you. I know others here will disagree with this tactic, so would I normally.
then it'll be a tit for tat that I've been she can go. And she knows I hate it so she will go more often.
 

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Discussion Starter · #115 ·
How often do you go out with your guy friends to places where the opposite sex is frequented? I'm guessing not near as much as your gf does.

You are now backed into a corner where your only response is to leave. Your gf has very little respect for you and talking to her about it isn't going to help.

She needs to see actions from you and that starts by holding firm to your boundaries. Women respect men who follow thru with what they say.

You also need to be prepared for her to be ok with it too. She has already demonstrated a lack of emotional attachment to you so be prepared for her to let you go and play the victim.

Your only other option is to accept your role as doormat and she will push your boundaries further and further making your life a living hell.
No where near as much as her. I'm usually working and struggle to get people to go out with. Or I think to give her a break with the kids has she has them all week when I am at work.

Yeah that is the only option I can see I don't know if she will be o.k. with me leaving but out of stubbornness she will not pursue me to come back as she'll believe she hasn't done anything wrong and I'm being over dramatic.
It is a drastic step to leave but like you say there is no other option. Unless I stay, learn to be emotionally unattached as well, ignore any boundaries she has and we live in anarchy.
 

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No where near as much as her. I'm usually working and struggle to get people to go out with. Or I think to give her a break with the kids has she has them all week when I am at work.

Yeah that is the only option I can see I don't know if she will be o.k. with me leaving but out of stubbornness she will not pursue me to come back as she'll believe she hasn't done anything wrong and I'm being over dramatic.
It is a drastic step to leave but like you say there is no other option. Unless I stay, learn to be emotionally unattached as well, ignore any boundaries she has and we live in anarchy.
I think there is a lot of room for you to grow in the self-improvement area on your part.

I would maybe start seeing a counselor or at a minimum begin to read some male self help books.

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
Hold Onto Your NUTS by Wayne Levine
Married Mans Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay

These three are where id start
 

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Its a night out not a hen party. Spoke to her now and said I was being controlling and she doesnt seen the issue so shes going.
Said she won't touch and won't get up on stage but she'll be caught up in the moment no way she'll refuse.
I would suspect, at some point, that the male strippers will come out into the audience (?)
And, you will never know.

I agree, if other females touch the strange, wagging wangs, (when they are invited onstage, or [when and if], the naked men come forward and stand before each lady) she too, will give that appendage a tug..

Hell, you know her randy Mum, certainly will.

Seeing others do the touching may not inspire her to do the same, but if it comes to these penises being in her face, or at hand, she will not want to be seen the party-pooper.

I see this as a class thing.
Men and women who have class, do not attend such activities.

Your wife and her mum, have no class.

You do.

It's time to bail on her.
 

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Discussion Starter · #120 ·
I think there is a lot of room for you to grow in the self-improvement area on your part.

I would maybe start seeing a counselor or at a minimum begin to read some male self help books.

No More Mr. Nice Guy by Robert Glover
Hold Onto Your NUTS by Wayne Levine
Married Mans Sex Life Primer by Athol Kay

These three are where id start
Yeah I've started reading hold on to your nuts after seeing it mentioned on here. See if it helps
 
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