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Almost two years ago my wife of 12 years confessed to having an affair with women. Then she denied it, over and over and over and over. She’s started lying to me long before it happened...she even lied when I presented her with evidence.

Now I found out she back on the dating sites looking for another. What do I do? I have tried to get her to open up to me. I would be fine with her being bi if she was honest, but she’s not and no matter how hard I try to get her to open up, she won’t.

Im at a loss, considering divorce, don’t want to break up my family but don’t see many other options
 

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Almost two years ago my wife of 12 years confessed to having an affair with women. Then she denied it, over and over and over and over. She’s started lying to me long before it happened...she even lied when I presented her with evidence.

Now I found out she back on the dating sites looking for another. What do I do? I have tried to get her to open up to me. I would be fine with her being bi if she was honest, but she’s not and no matter how hard I try to get her to open up, she won’t.

Im at a loss, considering divorce, don’t want to break up my family but don’t see many other options
You will not be breaking up the family, she currently is. If she is on dating sites, doesn't matter if it's male, female, whatever, the marriage is over according to her actions and feelings. It's very unlikely you would ever be able to trust her again and it may go against who she really is to commit to you and only you but if you want to give this one last Hail Mary that will likely be something she doesn't even put half a heart into.

She would need to get off of the dating sites, become fully transparent and agree to marriage counseling. I get the feeling this will be a no go from her and she will lie and convince you why you are being silly or it's your fault but remember. You will not be breaking up the family, she already started that process and it's up to you to make sure you kid(s) are taken care of.
 

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Since she's lying to you the best way to face it is to just file for divorce and see if that changes her behavior to a type you'd find acceptable. Most likely she'll lie to you and try to get you to cancel the divorce and then rug sweep the cheating.

Your family will be better off if you are both happy committed parents, but that doesn't mean residing in the same household.

You might want to post in the coping with infidelity area and you'd get better responses. A moderator can move this for you if you ask.
 

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you could always open the dating site in front of her and tell her that if she can look so can you....but let's be honest here, you are living with a cheater who is looking to get her licks else were so why not give her the walking papers perhaps that will make her rethink this.
 
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