Basically have been in a relationship for the past 14 years, TONS of dysfunctional things have happened to me before the relationship and since. I'm 34, ...and just not sure what's next. Just tired, I guess. I beat cancer 2 years ago, and went from being the one who always wanted to be intimate, to not wanting anything at all from him. This also might be from being told shortly after his brother died in 08 that he wasn't sexually attracted to me. We both have had substance abuse problems, but he has been clean since I beat the cancer. I no longer take illicit drugs, but am on atavan. Before I was diagnosed almost 5 years ago, we picked up and moved across country from a city to the woods(really). We live with his parents, who are both in their 70s, in very close quarters. I don't know if it's him, or if I'm just feeling like I'm losing myself, or maybe I never knew who I was to begin with bc of repressing feelings with drugs and sex since I was 12. I'm trying to get into a counseling place for myself, not one that prescribes medicines, but one that has cognitive therapy basis. If anyone has any similarities or advice I'd be willing to listen. Thanks in advance, ...and hope you're enjoying your weekend!