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22 Posts
Good afternoon and Happy Veteran's Day!
About me: I'm a 35 year old divorcee with 3 amazing children. I was married for 10 years and have been divorced for 5 years. After my divorce, I took a year to figure me out and to research dating because I didn't have any adult dating experience. I was over-fat and lost 70 pounds and have maintained my healthy weight for the past 4 years; I've really enjoyed reinventing me. I had one serious dating relationship that ended, but mutually on a good note. Since that time (the past 2 years), I've been single and In June decided to try online dating. As an aside, I'm a former educator that's recently gone back to graduate school full-time in the health care arena. I'm seeking advice in my new relationship that began online in August 2012.
I met this guy online in August and we really clicked (have a lot in common) and have talked every day since then. I didn't have any expectation of a relationship (friendship); yet, I remained optimistic and I'm really fond of him. He lives in the Midwest while I live in the South. In October, I flew to meet him. We had an amazing visit w/o sex and now we've decided to take our relationship to the next level. We're now learning one another's inner workings, which makes us both vulnerable, yet it's a necessary part of a relationship. We've planned to spend a week together in late December to early January. He's also a professional that has decided to go back to school (part-time).
He has a child from a previous relationship and his child lives in New England. He doesn't see his child often but does pay child support. I recently learned that he doesn't have a parenting plan or visitation schedule in place. Because he's been so together, this is causing me to raise an eyebrow. He's now seeking my input in reference to his daughter and her mother. I do not believe its my place to give such advice; yet, I gave it to to him. I decided moving forward that I would not give advice because I felt my advice was one-sided and emotionally based; it's now static and factually based information. I'm beginning to think that he was fishing for a particular woman to take on his headache. The problem is that I love him (that's what really fond of him means); yet, I don't want to be taken advantage of or become naive. He's the type of guy that I want; but, I wasn't really wanting to ever date a man with children. Because I really don't want to deal with his unfinished business. For the most part, I don't have drama with my ex spouse; yet occasionally there will be a hiccup or five. We get through it w/o battling. At first, it didn't seem that his situation was strife-ridden; yet, it's now rearing its head and he thinks it will build once his ex learns of our relationship.
I really don't know what to do. I've weighed the pros/cons and I'm still at ground zero. I've prayed about it and I believe that God works through people so I'm seeking feedback from a neutral, outside source. Please supply me with your feedback or contact me if you need additional information to give me an opinion. Thank you in advance for your audience and time.
TheEruditeOne
About me: I'm a 35 year old divorcee with 3 amazing children. I was married for 10 years and have been divorced for 5 years. After my divorce, I took a year to figure me out and to research dating because I didn't have any adult dating experience. I was over-fat and lost 70 pounds and have maintained my healthy weight for the past 4 years; I've really enjoyed reinventing me. I had one serious dating relationship that ended, but mutually on a good note. Since that time (the past 2 years), I've been single and In June decided to try online dating. As an aside, I'm a former educator that's recently gone back to graduate school full-time in the health care arena. I'm seeking advice in my new relationship that began online in August 2012.
I met this guy online in August and we really clicked (have a lot in common) and have talked every day since then. I didn't have any expectation of a relationship (friendship); yet, I remained optimistic and I'm really fond of him. He lives in the Midwest while I live in the South. In October, I flew to meet him. We had an amazing visit w/o sex and now we've decided to take our relationship to the next level. We're now learning one another's inner workings, which makes us both vulnerable, yet it's a necessary part of a relationship. We've planned to spend a week together in late December to early January. He's also a professional that has decided to go back to school (part-time).
He has a child from a previous relationship and his child lives in New England. He doesn't see his child often but does pay child support. I recently learned that he doesn't have a parenting plan or visitation schedule in place. Because he's been so together, this is causing me to raise an eyebrow. He's now seeking my input in reference to his daughter and her mother. I do not believe its my place to give such advice; yet, I gave it to to him. I decided moving forward that I would not give advice because I felt my advice was one-sided and emotionally based; it's now static and factually based information. I'm beginning to think that he was fishing for a particular woman to take on his headache. The problem is that I love him (that's what really fond of him means); yet, I don't want to be taken advantage of or become naive. He's the type of guy that I want; but, I wasn't really wanting to ever date a man with children. Because I really don't want to deal with his unfinished business. For the most part, I don't have drama with my ex spouse; yet occasionally there will be a hiccup or five. We get through it w/o battling. At first, it didn't seem that his situation was strife-ridden; yet, it's now rearing its head and he thinks it will build once his ex learns of our relationship.
I really don't know what to do. I've weighed the pros/cons and I'm still at ground zero. I've prayed about it and I believe that God works through people so I'm seeking feedback from a neutral, outside source. Please supply me with your feedback or contact me if you need additional information to give me an opinion. Thank you in advance for your audience and time.
TheEruditeOne
