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Hi! I have never used online support groups, but I am hoping it can help me work out these issues. My new husband and I are having big issues about changing things in the home we now share. I enjoy organizing and decorating, but he wants me to check with him before doing anything. When I say anything, I mean EVERYTHING, moving a picture, moving his toiletries, organizing a drawer that contains some of his stuff, moving a piece of furniture. Certainly, I agree we should make big decisions in the house together. I would never do something that could not easily be undone or spend a lot of money on something without getting his opinion and input.

I do not know what to do. He will not budge on this. He says it is "mutual respect" to check with each other, but I feel he is being too extreme. I work 3 very long shifts per week and often have full days off while he is at work. I do not think it is reasonable to have to "check in" with him if I can move his listerine bottle or a picture. I feel like he does not trust me to make the right decisions for us and our home. I can barley call it "our" home, i feel like it is his home and I am a roommate.

I moved into his home a few months before our 1 yr engagement. He was 38 and I was 31. He bought the home prior to our meeting and had pictures hung and a nice couch and bedroom set. Otherwise, it was very much like a bachelor pad. After I first moved in, I began to blend our stuff. He was SO angry the day I took down one of his pictures (from art.com of a tomato) and hung up a very nice cork wreath I had made. Two years later, he still holds to his stance that I should have checked with him first. He calls the guest room "your room" and the office "my room", and says "you can do whatever you want with your room". Other statements made are "I let you hang those pictures/buy new lights/hang the shelves/organize the kitchen to your liking". I checked with him prior to doing ALL of those things except the kitchen organization...but, I am the one that does most of the cooking.
On top of all this, he unilaterally made the decision we were not getting a dog. NO discussion, no weighing the pros and cons, just a solid no from him.
I enjoy decorating and organizing, it gives me great pleasure to do these things. I feel like I married a control freak who does not want things to change in his home and is happy as long as dinner is ready when he comes home and I don't touch his stuff.
I am so angry at this point, as I have tried and tried to discuss this with him and relay my feelings. He will not budge, he wants me to check with him still and if I don't he gets mad, if I do he often says it is unnecessary to do or he will do it (which he never does). I do not know what to do. help :(:confused::mad:
 
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