Last Sunday (a week ago) my husband came home and said he was unhappy in our marriage.
Background:
We have been together for almost 8 years. We just got married in June. Things have been good-or so I thought.
He was moody since September, and claimed it was just work stress when I asked him if there was anything I could do.
He has been going out drinking with his co-workers with increasing frequency. The tipping point was last Thursday night, he came home at 4:45 AM. I was upset, and asked him if we could lay some ground rules and come to a compromise about how often he should go out, and a reasonable time to come home. He said he needed time alone to think about some things before we talked. He went to visit his dad out of state.
He came home on Sunday. He told me he was unhappy with our marriage. He didn't know why, and didn't know what to do about it.
We talked Monday about the going out issue, and "came to an agreement" that he would go out once or twice a week and be home before 1, and communicate with me about how late he would be prior to that. And we decided that he was going to see a counselor to figure out why he is so unhappy with the marriage. I asked if we could see someone together, he said he would rather first go on his own.
Fast forward through the hardest week of my life. Monday (right after we talked) he was out until 2. Tuesday he was home. Wednesday he was out drinking (to "see if he can have just a few beers") until 12:30. Thursday he got home by 9, and I didn't know he was drunk until he puked over and over again.
I went to the beach this weekend alone (out of state) to see if I could find some tranquility. I found a brief respite, but not much. I don't know if he was out on Saturday, but Sunday he was out from when I got home (around 2) until 9 PM. He passed out on the couch around 10.
I just don't know how much longer I can deal with the hurt. He says he has made progress with finding someone to talk to, but no appointment made yet. I have expressed many times how hurt I am by this.
So, my question is do I pack up and move back to my parents house until he figures this out, or do I stay here and hope things get better soon?
On one hand, I can go there to get away, I wont have to deal with the disgusted look he gives me when he gets home, as if he doesn't even want to look at me. I wont have the longing to put my arms around him and make things better.
On the other, if I go, am I letting him continue this lifestyle uninterrupted? He can go out without consequences, do whatever he wants, and I won't know.
What do I do in the meantime, before counseling starts to hopefully improve things?
Sorry this was so long.
Background:
We have been together for almost 8 years. We just got married in June. Things have been good-or so I thought.
He was moody since September, and claimed it was just work stress when I asked him if there was anything I could do.
He has been going out drinking with his co-workers with increasing frequency. The tipping point was last Thursday night, he came home at 4:45 AM. I was upset, and asked him if we could lay some ground rules and come to a compromise about how often he should go out, and a reasonable time to come home. He said he needed time alone to think about some things before we talked. He went to visit his dad out of state.
He came home on Sunday. He told me he was unhappy with our marriage. He didn't know why, and didn't know what to do about it.
We talked Monday about the going out issue, and "came to an agreement" that he would go out once or twice a week and be home before 1, and communicate with me about how late he would be prior to that. And we decided that he was going to see a counselor to figure out why he is so unhappy with the marriage. I asked if we could see someone together, he said he would rather first go on his own.
Fast forward through the hardest week of my life. Monday (right after we talked) he was out until 2. Tuesday he was home. Wednesday he was out drinking (to "see if he can have just a few beers") until 12:30. Thursday he got home by 9, and I didn't know he was drunk until he puked over and over again.
I went to the beach this weekend alone (out of state) to see if I could find some tranquility. I found a brief respite, but not much. I don't know if he was out on Saturday, but Sunday he was out from when I got home (around 2) until 9 PM. He passed out on the couch around 10.
I just don't know how much longer I can deal with the hurt. He says he has made progress with finding someone to talk to, but no appointment made yet. I have expressed many times how hurt I am by this.
So, my question is do I pack up and move back to my parents house until he figures this out, or do I stay here and hope things get better soon?
On one hand, I can go there to get away, I wont have to deal with the disgusted look he gives me when he gets home, as if he doesn't even want to look at me. I wont have the longing to put my arms around him and make things better.
On the other, if I go, am I letting him continue this lifestyle uninterrupted? He can go out without consequences, do whatever he wants, and I won't know.
What do I do in the meantime, before counseling starts to hopefully improve things?
Sorry this was so long.