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We need to paint a picture, lol. Imagine a woman straddling you in the back seat of a car, face to face. You hold the phone in your right hand outstretched behind her. Then as she starts to turn her head you just drop the phone.
I suppose that's one way to do it.
 

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If she is prepared to be completely honest and open and agrees to back what she says up with a lie detector then maybe, just maybe you have a chance.
The trouble is she has lied and deceived you many times it will be near impossible to trust her again.
 

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Since the affair I have access to all her emails, social media, and text. Haven't found anything. As far as her giving me details she has said no it didn't continue. It was only once, He has not tried to blackmail and it did not continue after she told me
Tell her prove it! Polygraph!
 

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By the things she has said since confrontation she has admitted it is her without even realizing she is admitting it! That should make up for any doubt you may have. It is her.

Even my wife caught that when I read to her your wife's response to you
Yep.
 

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@Rcox230 . Share and share alike. I mean, who wouldn't like his wife shtooping another guy just after engagement. Man I can't see a reason it's not everyone's dream. You go! so empowering to have a sexually liberated woman dictating you endearment...

Or take them out of her purse and tell her you aren't at all happy with this.

I don't care if you D or R, but please repossess you tentacles.
 

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Since the affair I have access to all her emails, social media, and text. Haven't found anything. As far as her giving me details she has said no it didn't continue. It was only once, He has not tried to blackmail and it did not continue after she told me
I know you want to save your marriage. I totally get it. You’ve been together for many years and you don’t want to be turned into a part time dad. But please don’t rug sweep this. Allowing your wife to bully you into submission 6 years ago is what has gotten you here. Even @Divinely Favored ’s wife, who’s not a TAM junkie like us, could see that her response was a round about admission that it was her.

This is a case that cries out for a poly. They’re about 5 to 7 hundred dollars, depending where in the country you live. You’re allowed to ask about 4 yes or no questions. Talking to the examiner will help you narrow down the questions that will effectively get you the info you need for closure.
 

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Since the affair I have access to all her emails, social media, and text. Haven't found anything. As far as her giving me details she has said no it didn't continue. It was only once, He has not tried to blackmail and it did not continue after she told me
She knows it's her in the videos and she knows exactly who sent them to you and to her.
 

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Keep in mind you still have the right to divorce her for the initial infidelity even though you decided to stay. This has become too complicated and has elements that at best leave a lot of unanswered questions and don't make sense with the details she gives you. It's not hard to see that there is deception and lack of transparency here. This should be enough for a divorce.
 

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I would test her. Since she says that was the only time and it didn't continue, bluff that you received another video that convinces you it's her. Tell her to come clean or it's divorce for sure.

Then divorce her regardless.
 

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I would test her. Since she says that was the only time and it didn't continue, bluff that you received another video that convinces you it's her. Tell her to come clean or it's divorce for sure.

Then divorce her regardless.
I'd save the drama.
Just have her served without warning.
Tell her that it is incumbent upon on her to save the marriage and you will give her one hearing to make her case.
If she is fully compliant, comes clean and does what is required, great. You will entertain continuing it on terms that are favorable to you, giving her a path to earn her way back.
If she doesn't come around, flush her down and be done with it.
 

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I'd save the drama.
Just have her served without warning.
Tell her that it is incumbent upon on her to save the marriage and you will give her one hearing to make her case.
If she is fully compliant, comes clean and does what is required, great. You will entertain continuing it on terms that are favorable to you, giving her a path to earn her way back.
If she doesn't come around, flush her down and be done with it.
1) Here's the divorce papers, because this is what I now believe happened.
2) Prove me wrong to save this.

This will either give you the truth and a marriage or the confirmation she just doesn't care enough for you either way. Either way it will give you peace of mind and a firm foundation onto which your future can be built.
 

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OP,

This is going to continue for as long as you allow to go on.

I get it's emotional, I've been cheated on.

I may be off base here, let me state that up front.

It seems like you're looking for some way to stay in the relationship, for some way for you to save face, keep your dignity, to work through this and move on.

That's the wrong thing to do. Don't look for some way to stay.

If you are to stay, it must be for the right reasons. Both of you must really work on things, be a team and pull on the rope together.

It doesn't appear as if she's going to do that and that's her choice.

You just keep flopping around like a fish out of water trying to find some way to get around this.

Quit trying to do that. Either both of you work like heck on this and I mean really work on things, not just this, but other issues in the relationship too because this should be a moment in time that causes both of you to really work on things.

If one or both you can't or won't do that, end this.

Don't sit on the fence and slowly circle the drain.
 

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Or….
Stay married and work on opening up the relationship.
If you think about it, you are married to a woman who does porn!
How awesome could that be?!?!

If you can’t bring yourself to leave, make it work in another way.
There are no rules in your marriage besides the one you and your other half are willing to make and abide by
 

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Or….
Stay married and work on opening up the relationship.
If you think about it, you are married to a woman who does porn!
How awesome could that be?!?!

If you can’t bring yourself to leave, make it work in another way.
There are no rules in your marriage besides the one you and your other half are willing to make and abide by
She may be a cheater, but she isn't a woman that does porn. She is a woman that was record by a man without her permission who then posted on the internet. As much as it pains me to say this about a cheater, she is a victim.
 
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