@Evinrude58 Answering your questions
Married to a man
Never been in a relationship with a woman or another man for that matter unless you count 2 weeks with a boy in the 7th grade.
I do not believe I'm bisexual because I've never fantasized about a woman before.
I have never had these types of feelings, thoughts, or desires before and didn't have them that night before going over there. I honestly thought we were going to have a few drinks watch a movie and I was going to come home.
1) face it, you've become an alcoholic. NO, NO, NO Not me, it's just been since all this health crisis with my husband.
Yes, YOU. You are an alcoholic and need to never touch another drop of liquor of any kind. You can't do it? Well your marriage is doomed.
I have accepted this and I have promised myself I'm done with the stuff because it's not worth my marriage. DH respects that choice and promises to help me stay strong.
2) I really do feel I'm heterosexual, or at most bi-curious. I find females attractive but I've never desired to be with one, and still don't.
3)I have an appointment to see a counselor on the books already to help me figure out how I let this happen.
I honestly agree that this was the most bizarre and horrible thing that I have ever done. I appreciate your questions and advice. I am trying really hard not to let the regret and guilt eat me alive. I want to be here for my husband and love and support him through this pain that I've caused. I just feel so confused that I was able to do this to him. I never thought I was capable of being this crappy of a human being.
This is something that I didn't really think about. Thank you for pointing it out to me. He had expressed at various points in time dealing with his hip and back pain, that he felt bad that he couldn't do the things we normally would sexually. So this is most likely building on that. I always encouraged him and told him it was ok and we did other very satisfying things but I can see how this would be a very strong blow in his masculinity!I think you’ve started on the right path to self healing and recognition of what may have brought on the situation. One of the things that haven’t been mentioned and as a man I would feel very emasculated at the thought of my wife involved with another woman, regardless of how drunk or incapacitated she was.