Hi everyone. This is my first post. I have been dealing with some issues for a while and I needed an outlet for someone to help and I am just reaching out for a little advice.
H and I have been together for 10 years, and married for 3. We had a baby boy last year and we just celebrated his first birthday. The past 10 years haven't been easy by any means. We spent a great deal of time fighting but making up and working on our issues. We had been through marriage counseling on two different occasions and things seemed to work themselves out.
As soon as our son was born, everything seemed to get much better. They say a baby can bring you closer or tear you apart and it seemed to definitely bring us closer and feel more connected. Fast forward 6 months...
H had started getting into trading and collecting beer as a hobby. It was a slow thing at first, then it became overwhelming. Our condo was full of craft beer from all over the state that he had picked up or had shipped from other states from his friends he met online.
We had been having issues with our neighbor downstairs in the condo, and it is up for sale right now, so we planned to move into my father's house for our son to be able to have more room to play and less stress with the harassing neighbor.
In the past month, everything has fallen apart.
I moved into my father's with our son and my H remains at the condo. Basically we decided to separate for several reasons. He has anger issues and a bad temper. He is currently on Wellbutrin and Zoloft and neither of them are working properly and most of the reason is because he drinks 3+ beers a night and doesn't pay attention to the warning labels in regards to mixing alcohol with medication.
We are slowly trying to work on things, but nearly 3 weeks separated now, I don't see us getting back together.
Now I am starting to become incredibly depressed unlike ever before. Mostly with the fact that I am solely taking care of our son round the clock. He is very high energy, screams 24/7, constantly needs attention, doesn't like to be put down. I literally have to rush through my showers incase he wakes up. He doesn't sleep through the night. I am exhausted, worn out and resentful towards my H. This is making me a bitter mom and turning me into a person I never thought I would be, considering we went through months of fertility treatment just to have him.
My H tries to help but I can't even stand to be around him. Just knowing he gets to wake up at home and go to work and come back home with no responsibilities (except to come over twice a week to be with our son for a few hours) makes me so angry and frustrated. He even tried to make amends and say he'd move back in and "help" if it meant he can drink 1-2 beers a night if he felt like it. I thought he was crazy for even asking when that was one of the main reasons we split up in the first place.
I am so exhausted and I don't have a clear head. I find myself looking at other men and wondering what kind of life I would have if I didn't have to deal with him and the life I have now.
I am also finding it hard to pinpoint if it's the separation that has me bitter or a late onset of PPD. I also want to find my own apartment because living at my father's is proving to be stressful in itself.
I am lost and I am tired of crying myself to sleep every night.

H and I have been together for 10 years, and married for 3. We had a baby boy last year and we just celebrated his first birthday. The past 10 years haven't been easy by any means. We spent a great deal of time fighting but making up and working on our issues. We had been through marriage counseling on two different occasions and things seemed to work themselves out.
As soon as our son was born, everything seemed to get much better. They say a baby can bring you closer or tear you apart and it seemed to definitely bring us closer and feel more connected. Fast forward 6 months...
H had started getting into trading and collecting beer as a hobby. It was a slow thing at first, then it became overwhelming. Our condo was full of craft beer from all over the state that he had picked up or had shipped from other states from his friends he met online.
We had been having issues with our neighbor downstairs in the condo, and it is up for sale right now, so we planned to move into my father's house for our son to be able to have more room to play and less stress with the harassing neighbor.
In the past month, everything has fallen apart.
I moved into my father's with our son and my H remains at the condo. Basically we decided to separate for several reasons. He has anger issues and a bad temper. He is currently on Wellbutrin and Zoloft and neither of them are working properly and most of the reason is because he drinks 3+ beers a night and doesn't pay attention to the warning labels in regards to mixing alcohol with medication.
We are slowly trying to work on things, but nearly 3 weeks separated now, I don't see us getting back together.
Now I am starting to become incredibly depressed unlike ever before. Mostly with the fact that I am solely taking care of our son round the clock. He is very high energy, screams 24/7, constantly needs attention, doesn't like to be put down. I literally have to rush through my showers incase he wakes up. He doesn't sleep through the night. I am exhausted, worn out and resentful towards my H. This is making me a bitter mom and turning me into a person I never thought I would be, considering we went through months of fertility treatment just to have him.
My H tries to help but I can't even stand to be around him. Just knowing he gets to wake up at home and go to work and come back home with no responsibilities (except to come over twice a week to be with our son for a few hours) makes me so angry and frustrated. He even tried to make amends and say he'd move back in and "help" if it meant he can drink 1-2 beers a night if he felt like it. I thought he was crazy for even asking when that was one of the main reasons we split up in the first place.
I am so exhausted and I don't have a clear head. I find myself looking at other men and wondering what kind of life I would have if I didn't have to deal with him and the life I have now.
I am also finding it hard to pinpoint if it's the separation that has me bitter or a late onset of PPD. I also want to find my own apartment because living at my father's is proving to be stressful in itself.
I am lost and I am tired of crying myself to sleep every night.