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Hey guys,

My name is Donna, I am just looking around here and getting an idea about how things work here. I've always been interested in the spiritual side of life. Nothing really calls to me though. I guess I'm really just searching for a way forward as I really feel stuck. I'm 27 and a barista for a local mom and pop coffeehouse. I love the whole coffeehouse culture thing. When I was a teenager my family owned a coffeehouse in Santa Cruz California. That's where I grew up. I studied art in school, never graduated but I still dabble. I guess someday I hope I could become the type of artist that gets paid for her work but whatever, someday right? I'll probably always have paint splattered clothes and paintbrushes by my sink you know?

I'm single now but just got out of a really rough relationship. I feel like I gave so much but he didn't appreciate it and in the end I found out he had cheated on me. He was another artist type and had this whole free love thing going on. When I found out he cheated he didn't consider what he had done was cheating. Supposedly his heart was always mine but sexuality is supposed to be open as part of human experience? WTF? I mean come on. I seem to be old fashioned in light of the company I keep but I really want to be with someone who really wants to be with only me? In every way! Does that even exist anymore? Did it ever?! It seems like everywhere you turn someone is cheating on someone else. I don't want that stuff. I want what I want I guess I just don't know if anyone else wants it you know?

Anyways, that's me for now.

~Donna
 

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I am sorry to hear about your heartache, Donna. How painful! :(

It is perfectly fine to want to be with someone who will not cheat on you. Just keep to your ideals. I am sure the right man will come along! :)
 

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I never cheated on my ex in the 18 years we were together. Never wanted to. There are people that want monogamy. But it takes a while to find one, and you never know for sure.

Know how you feel though.
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Good evening DonnaYeats
Welcome.

You are not being at all unreasonable in wanting someone who only wants you. That is the way the great majority of people feel.

There are some people who do not believe in monogamous relationships, and as far as I;m concerned, that is OK, but they have to recognize that they are in the minority, and be clear about their ideas with their partners.

When you are looking for people to date, you have to recognize that people with similar ideas tend to cluster. That can give the idea that "everyone" is like that. If you broaden your social circle, you will find many people who think the way you do.
 

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Where you married or in a LTR? The emotions are the same but additional stress of court and splitting assets adds a layer of resentment and pain. Perhaps you should read this thread to start http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping-infidelity/306482-whats-worst-thing-about-infidelity.html. It will help you center your thpughts and emotions by sharing this pain.

Dispite what your wanker ex says his actions hurt and crushed you. He does not get to set the terms of or determine your reaction arbitrarily. Fidelity is a mutual decsion. His actions were strictly high schoolish. Serious relationships require two adults.
 

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I am so sorry to hear that he was such and insolent idiot.
There are people out there that still want to maintain an adult monogamous relationship.
You are better off without him although I know that fact doesn't help the pain.



Sent from my iPhone
 
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