My H told me last night he wants a separation. I saw it coming, things have been terrible for some time. I am newly sober and have caused some really horrendous pain for him. We have been living like ghostly room mates for months. I know separation is the best, I cant live in limbo and he cant get his thoughts or feelings in order. From one day to the next he didnt know how he felt or what he wanted. He is reading Co Dependant No more and says his co dependancy is not just about my alcohol, I'm not sure what that even means. He is hurt angry, bitter and being defensive and putting the wall up higher and higher. Which I totally get, I do not expect him to be "all better" about everything that happened just because I am sober for a few months. I think the only reason we are still married is because he is co dependant and feels guilty because he made vows. I am working on finding a place of my own, however I have a million questions about how a separation works and what you are supposed to do while you are in one. He gets very angy with me when I ask these questions. We have to have almost daily contact, he owns a business and I do all the admin work. Thats my paycheck, insurance, etc. How are you supposed to separate and see one another everyday. I dont think I'm capable of that. I would sit in the same office as him and dont know how I'd focus, not cry, ask him what he's doing tonite, so on and so on. I am in such a state of panic, my anxiety is thru the roof worrying about everything under the sun. I have the 180 rules but dont know if I can handle that day in and day out at work, they are a lot easier when you are only with the person for a short amount of time during the day. I love my H, I know I need to give him this space so he can heal, I believe now that I'm recovering from alcoholism it is all very clear what I have flushed down the shi$$er. Does anyone have any suggestions, he wont answer or talk to me about bank accounts, car insurance, work schedule, does he want to see other people, etc. I am being contradictory, by saying I have to give him his space to heal and then bombarding him with questions, I want it be clear what each of us expects so there are no more hurt feelings and bitterness. Legally and financialy he wont talk about this, I honestly dont know how to progress with any of it. This is all very new, confusing and terrifying to me. I would appreciate any suggestions, others experiences, even if they are to tell me to quit whining, sometimes thats exactly what I need to hear to leave the pity party I occasionaly throw for myself.