[morituri]

"I never knew what real happiness was until I got married. And by then it was too late." -Max Kauffmann :rofl:

"The man who says his wife can't take a joke, forgets that she took him." -Oscar Wilde

“Do you know what it means to come home at night to a woman who'll give you a little love, a little affection, a little tenderness? It means you're in the wrong house, that's what it means.”
-Henny Youngman

:lol::lol::lol:

 

[morituri]

The following is from Barely Half of U.S. Adults Are Married – A Record Low

Previous marriage experience plays a big role in whether people want to get married (again) or not. A majority of adults who have never been married say that they want to get married (61%), compared with only 26% of adults who have ever been married but are currently unmarried.

 

[morituri]

Being the father of two young women in committed relationships (one is married) I can tell you that women can ALSO get screwed by a cheating husband. If they have kids by such low life, they still have to deal with him for many years to come.

Personally? I would love to have each couple voluntarily submit themselves to being psychologically assessed to see if they have what it takes to be a good spouse. Though there's no guarantee that this would make for happy marriages (it takes work for that) it MAY create more healthier ones.

 

[morituri]

Most of the time, the red flags are right in front of our faces and we choose to ignore them. In my case, the fact that my ex-wife refused to discuss anything related to her growing up, should have told me right then and there that I should not have married her. But she being a very loving, giving and caring woman, I allowed my feelings to get the best of me and married her. Anybody who is secretive about their past, should be somebody you should run from. Secrecy has no place in a committed relationship like marriage.

Fortunately my divorce was uncontested and the division of marital assets did not hurt me like it has other folks hit by an unfaithful spouse. But even if it did, I knew before I married her that in a no fault divorce State, it doesn't matter what the cause of the divorce was and that everything that I brought into the marriage AFTER I got married was community property. So I can't fault the divorce laws considering I fully knew about them well before entering into the marriage. The way I see it, is that if you can't risk getting your nose bloodied - figuratively speaking of course - then you have no business getting into a committed relationship like marriage to begin with.

 

[morituri]

The divorce laws will only change when the marriage rates plummet so dangerously low, that the future of society is at stake. But until then, it is caveat emptor or "Let the buyer beware".

 

[morituri]

Gaia, there are durable power of attorney that the two of you can sign for healthcare and finances giving each other exclusive rights. You and your husband should look into them.

 

[morituri]

You're welcome Gaia.

Here's an article that talks in depth titled Unmarried Partners, Medical Directives and the Durable Power of Attorney for Finances. Good luck.

 

[morituri]

if it's just the financial aspects that worry you then why not encourage pre nups rather than avoiding marriage altogether....for me marriage is beautiful so i'm feeling baffled by all these negativity towards marriage

Pre-nups are often invalidated and don't avoid the financial hit of a costly, contested divorce.

But I agree with you that marriage to a kind, loving, caring person is indeed a beautiful experience. The Holy Grail.

 

[morituri]

So it's being replaced by a situation where the top few alpha males maintain soft harems of divorced or adulterous women and the majority of men go without. Primal.

You forgot to count the adulterous married men, many of whom are serial cheaters. Even though slightly, they still outnumber their female counterparts.

 

[morituri]

I haven't seen my marriage license since the day I got married. Do people actually keep those around?

If you're over 50 like me, its probably is scribed in papyrus leaves.

 

[morituri]

As for me, I'd never, EVER marry again. After getting your hand burned once by putting it on the stove, it would take divine intervention for me to put the other mitt back up there...

I also got burned but it was because I chose to ignore a huge red flag before I married her. Ask yourself if whether there were ANY red flags before you married her.

 

[morituri]

Do you have a link to your story?

My story is like the giant with diarrhea, it's all over the place.

 

[morituri]

What was the red flag?

Here you go señorita Jellybeans http://talkaboutmarriage.com/coping...-ever-marry-just-my-opinion-7.html#post753715.

 

[morituri]

TONS of people don't believe it.

How many wives, if given the green light by their husbands, would jump at the chance to have sex with a man they are sexually attracted to? I would venture to say that quite a good eye opening number.

The nature of female sexuality can be just as scary to many women as it is to many men.

 

[morituri]

This why it makes no sense to commit to being monogamous, as it is unlikely, statistically, tht your partner will be.
Why deprive yourself when your partner is partaking.
This is why response affairs make sense to me. Nosense going through life derpiving yourself.

So if I read you correctly, you believe that since the cheating spouse has already turned the marriage into an "open marriage" that the faithful spouse should find another to have an affair with? Interesting but you seem to forget that when an affair is discovered, the last thing on the betrayed spouse's mind is to go have an affair of his/her own. Besides, even those cases where that happens, the chances of a possible reconciliation drop significantly that it would have been just better to have simply leave and file for divorce. At least that way the betrayed can stop wasting time, move on with his/her life and give him/herself the opportunity to be in another committed relationship in the future, instead of entering into a dead-end relationship and engaging in stressful cloak-and-dagger behavior.

 

[morituri]

Whether we are for or against marriage as it exists today, the fact remains that the marriage rates are, and have been, dropping for quite some time and more and more people are choosing to simply live together, especially by those who were once married for decades and are now divorced. People in my age group (over 50) and over are some of the contributors to this trend. For them, another divorce is simply too much, financially speaking, to deal with and recover from.

 

[morituri]

This is not an option for me at this time (prostate cancer)

What is the status of your cancer?

 

[morituri]

As of my last check, PSA was undetectable. I'm now 5 years out and due for another PSA test. I hate sweating those results out.

Have you read Task force recommends against PSA test for prostate cancer? It seems there is somewhat of a controversy on its effectiveness to detect prostate cancer.