[moxy]

She's trying to up the ante and be a girlfriend. This is definitely an emotional affair.

You should tell him to choose the marriage or his wannabe girlfriend.

People like this make me want to vomit. Your husband is too busy playing knight to the damsel in distress to see where his priorities should be.

This is definitely worth leaving over, if he can't get his loyalties properly aligned because it will only worsen.

 

[moxy]

There seems to be a lot of gas lighting going on by your H. Unchecked, that could be dangerous. Turning off the A/C while his pregnant wife roasts and then feigning ignorance and even sympathy while watching her suffer does isn't what a loving person would do; it's not just passive aggressive -- doesn't that compound the possibility of dehydration and danger to your life and that of the fetus? Not that 85 degrees will kill you, but messing with your head like that indicates devious behavior. Sounds like he wants you to suffer because you're getting in the way of his freedom. My H is also a gaslighter and manipulator, so I know how this can get to you. Just think about whether or not you two can be an effective team working toward shared life goals if one of the two of you is sabotaging those efforts. I think he wants out and doesn't want to be the bad guy. Let him go. If he loves you AND wants to be with you, he will make it work by making an effort to keep you in his life rather than expending energy to push you out if his way by underhanded and covert means.

File for divorce. That sends the message that this is unacceptable. It shouldn't be a last resort in your case but something you do now.

 

[moxy]

Sounds like he is still trying to pull you back into the same power cycle. You see how many problems you had that you rug swept (many similarities in my story, so I can understand what you're going through) and can't anymore. Do not allow this man to pull you back in like this because he hasn't changed in the face of it all and you'd be in for more intimidation, threats, control, and betrayal. He's not accepted responsibility for a single thing, so he has not earned the right to a second chance -- especially not a second chance which he is trying to get in order to bully you into submission.

The phone call and five minute thing was a classic destabilization and control move. I'm glad you saw through the power play. Regardless of love, if those problems aren't addressed, your future would hold danger. His anger and self-entitlement and impulse control and immaturity are standing in the way of a healthy relationship right now because he won't acknowledge them or deal with them. You can love him all you want, but you shouldn't continue the marriage until and unless you see genuine change. Be very careful and guard your child. That a/c gas lighting scared me just in hearing about it. You shouldn't have to be afraid of his anger or the consequences of not keeping him pleased. You sounded strong in that post; keep it up! Much luck to you and your baby.