I am in desperate need of advice, I'm very lost at this moment and don't know what I should do. Lets try and make a long story short, about 2 months ago my wife asked me if one of her friends could come stay with us for awhile. My initial answer was no due to previous issues we had in the past, I reconsidered due to his situation of recently getting cheated on by his wife and getting kicked out of his home and having no where to go and agreed to let him stay for a short period of time. Things were okay at first, my wife is a stay at home wife takes care of our three kids, I work nights and he was looking for work. But slowly things started to change. She began acting a little different and our relationship started going down hill. One night we got into a big fight and she told me she wanted a divorce, told me she loved me but was no longer in love with me . I was shocked and didnt really know what to say. I tried talking to her and she withdrew and wouldnt really talk. We talked and decided that we would try and fix things and just go from there .I started to get more involved again, I was taking her out to do more, getting her the things she asked for so on and so forth. Everything was okay for awhile and then I started to notice little things. She always wanted to be around him. Found reasons to more or less cuddle with him. Stated looking at him the way she looked at me. Spent more time around him then me, and was starting to be very distant from me. Yesterday morning about 3am i picked her phone up to use the internet and seen that we was logged on to Facebook and something told me to go look through the messages. There was little things here and there that were sending up red flags. Then i came across a message between him and a close female friend of his telling her to disregard the messages that he was talking to my wife. Saying how much he loved her and wanted to be with her and that the sex was amazing... I confronted her she didnt say anything but gave me that look like she was busted and told me. I went out to the couch and proceeded to beat the living **** out of him until she yelled at me to stop and pulled me away. They proceed to tell me that it happened one time a week and a half ago. That I treat her like ****, i dont romance her and that i was trying to buy her love. I tell him he needs to be gone in the morning. I go to bed my wife cuddles up with me and in the morning tells me she is leaving is going to stay with a friend and that he is going to stay else where. The friend she is staying with is a mutual friend of ours, and tells me that it was never their intentions for that to happen that they plan on staying together. I kept the kids and would not let her take them with her. Our friend also tells me that it has happened way more times then one and fills me in on a lot of the details. I spoke with my wife on the phone asked her to come home for the kids and me. That we could work through it she cried and now refuses to speak with me. She was supposed to come by to get stuff from the house and give me their social security cards and shot records, instead she sent our friend to get stuff and didnt send the required items. She refuses to speak with me or come see the kids. She tells our friend she is afraid to come back because she will want to stay because of the kids. I think the OM is pumping her head full of BS and telling her not to come see her kids. Something i forgot to mention before i found out my wife asked me for a ring that she liked so i got and he asked me to get him a ring and he would pay me back. Come to find out they are calling them promise rings to each other. I dont know what to do. I want my wife to see her kids, to be involved in their lives and I still love her with all my heart. We have been together since I was 17. Im very torn part of me wants her to come back home so we can reconcile and move past this. While the other part is telling me that it wont work and she wont come back. What should I do? Do i move on and try to find happiness else where or hold out for the woman I love?