Well, my story is kinda complicated, but I'll try to make it brief. Basically what it boils down to for me is, sex hurts. That is to say penetration hurts. It's just painful. I can get an orgasm without it, and prefer that. My wonderful husband of 11 years is the absolute most patient and loving person I know. How many other men would tolerate not being able to have normal sex? We stimulate each other to orgasm and that's how we've accepted things. I recently found myself wanting more though. I want excitement and passion. When we have "sex" it's always the same. I want to know the pleasure of doing something wild. How can I make this happen? We have limits. I live in a trailer and have a 13 yo daughter in the house. We do not do the spend the night at friends thing so she is always here. I have tried seeing a Dr. and I'm told there is nothing wrong with me. She gave me these hard plastic things that I'm supposed to insert into myself, but that doesn't work. No pain at all with them, just when he tries to go in. I can tolerate one finger, but when he tries to use two, the pain starts. FORGET about him using his penis!! That sends me through the roof in pain!! Very few times in our marriage have I actually been able to handle it, and I can't say he's done anything different to allow me to be able to handle it. We've tried lubrication. That doesn't work. I also have a hard time getting turned on without fantasizing about being spanked. He doesn't like to spank me, and we can't try that anyway because of my daughter being in the house, but I want to be turned on WITHOUT the fantasy. Gosh, I said I was going to keep this brief, but I didn't manage to do that. Maybe someone can make some sense of this post and offer me some suggestions. TIA for any advice.