I do not exist in my MIL reality(unless she is trying to make me feel bad, which I don't give her that power). since W and I separated. My W has told her this forever. She is just a toxic women. I can't stand her, I wish my wife would move back in with me.Have you talked to your MIL to explain that bringing up her father is not a good idea?
I am all too aware of that fact. She was the main marriage problem. She was the rumor instigator, and my wife and I ate it all up. I am an observant man by nature and education, but this was the first time it took a review of "facts" in retrospect to clarify things. Only time my BS meter did not go berserk, I wish it had. It is disgusting how she treats her kids and how she treated me. I viewed her as a second mother, until I saw how things operated in her reality.Her Mom is also bad for your marriage from the sounds of it. Does your MIL actively bash you or denigrate you in anyway to your wife?
We are more or less separated by the living situation. Every other aspect is normal, if not better than before. We communicate, she respects me more, and I see her through my eyes, not her mom's. We still have many issues, but nothing that is not fixable.Would it be fair to say that your wife is letting your MIL have too much influence on the marriage? Also, what keeps you trying even though you guys are separated?