I am a father of two young children under 5yrs old, I have been with my partner for 14 years.
My problem is my partner hates my family with vengeance in particular my mother.
Since becoming a father, my partner has indirectly shut out my family for several years especially more so since us starting a family but yet her family has been the total opposite, practically visiting my house every week, especially her mother who has built a solid rapport with my daughters.
The issue of my partner hating my my family is due to my mother embarrassing my partner at a family Christening many years ago back in 2007, my mother said to my partner "can't you say hello?" In a very aggressive manor in the presence of many, my partner has never forgiven my mother for this and has banished her ever since. My mother did apologise for her actions, but my partner said that it was not genuine.
For many years I have struggled with trying to remain in contact with my family despite the animosity, I haven't had the best relationship with my parents but since becoming a Father and becoming a responsible adult current in my mid 30s, my priority is to do the best for my daughters without holding resentment towards anybody.
Since having kids I have never taken my daughters to my parents house because of the hatred that my partner has for my mother which has torn me apart , but my partner has taken my kids to her parents house with me without me over a thousand times, including spending christmas there every year (which I dread). What about my family?
My partner acts as if I don't have no family and that her family is the only family that my children should see and know.
This situation has been tearing me apart for years and I feel powerless, I have gone to counselling with my partner but that wasn't successful.
but for the past year things have changed drastically.
My mother was diagnosed with secondary cancer a year ago, in recent weeks the cancer has moved to her brain. My partner has not shown emotion regarding my mothers condition which has affected our relationship as if it was her mother I am sure she would expect me to show empathy, but yet she shows none to me.
My mom is desperate to see my daughters and wants me to bring my daughters to her house, but my mother has made it clear that she does not want to see my partner.
I love my partner but I am really struggling living like this, relationships are supposed to be 50/50 not 90/5.
For Many years I have considered going our separate way, that way I can try and mend the broken bridge between my family and build a relationship between my children and my siblings and my mother whist she is still alive for the time that she has left.
Apologies for the poor English if any errors in this thread.
Any advice would be appreciated as I feel very alone and confused
My problem is my partner hates my family with vengeance in particular my mother.
Since becoming a father, my partner has indirectly shut out my family for several years especially more so since us starting a family but yet her family has been the total opposite, practically visiting my house every week, especially her mother who has built a solid rapport with my daughters.
The issue of my partner hating my my family is due to my mother embarrassing my partner at a family Christening many years ago back in 2007, my mother said to my partner "can't you say hello?" In a very aggressive manor in the presence of many, my partner has never forgiven my mother for this and has banished her ever since. My mother did apologise for her actions, but my partner said that it was not genuine.
For many years I have struggled with trying to remain in contact with my family despite the animosity, I haven't had the best relationship with my parents but since becoming a Father and becoming a responsible adult current in my mid 30s, my priority is to do the best for my daughters without holding resentment towards anybody.
Since having kids I have never taken my daughters to my parents house because of the hatred that my partner has for my mother which has torn me apart , but my partner has taken my kids to her parents house with me without me over a thousand times, including spending christmas there every year (which I dread). What about my family?
My partner acts as if I don't have no family and that her family is the only family that my children should see and know.
This situation has been tearing me apart for years and I feel powerless, I have gone to counselling with my partner but that wasn't successful.
but for the past year things have changed drastically.
My mother was diagnosed with secondary cancer a year ago, in recent weeks the cancer has moved to her brain. My partner has not shown emotion regarding my mothers condition which has affected our relationship as if it was her mother I am sure she would expect me to show empathy, but yet she shows none to me.
My mom is desperate to see my daughters and wants me to bring my daughters to her house, but my mother has made it clear that she does not want to see my partner.
I love my partner but I am really struggling living like this, relationships are supposed to be 50/50 not 90/5.
For Many years I have considered going our separate way, that way I can try and mend the broken bridge between my family and build a relationship between my children and my siblings and my mother whist she is still alive for the time that she has left.
Apologies for the poor English if any errors in this thread.
Any advice would be appreciated as I feel very alone and confused