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I have came to decision that I am divorcing my husband.
I have decided this after careful consideration due to mental abuse and physical abuse in the past. Since recently discovering some of the things that my husband is interested in, in his free time I have realized that this is not fitting for a straight married male. The problem is at this point I don't
know how to continue from this point on, I can't just leave
our home since we will be fighting for custody of the children and I have no financial support. I do not want to continue to be sexual active with him because I don't know what he could be exposing me to, and if I refuse he will try to find a way to manipulate me into feeling guilty about not having sex with him and will drag it on and continue to pressure me which will cause continuous bickering between the 2 of us and he will make my time here in the house with him very uncomfortable because of it.
I am wondering should I completely confront him about what I know, (which I have done before and he would either come up with a way to deny visiting these web sites unsuitable for straight men or one time he did admit to it and stated that he can't help it because he was molested as a child and that he is battling with issues of sexuality and he began to cry). So at this point confronting him I think would not do anything because he will just try to manipulate or either lie. I don't know what to do while I'm here, I tried to avoid him last night by sleeping in my daughter's room that will only last so long before he blows up about it. He is the type of person that will continue to pressure me until he gets his way with me and will not let up period. That is why we have been together a total on and off for 13 years because of that. He takes advantage of my goodness and uses it to his advantage. Just like when we were seperated for a yr and half he pressured me the whole time to come back to him.
He used my family and his family as a way to get back with me, talking to them to convince them to try to talk me out of divorce because he knew at that point I was fed up. Today I have given up. When we were seperated he even went so far as to come to my church every sunday and even joined, and since I have moved back in he has slowly but surely stopped all together, which he has even tried hindered myself from going and has he tried to convince as if it is not important to be there. And God is what got me through all this mess that I have been through with him so I want to be there as soon as the doors swing open as away of being obedient to Him. I know for sure that once I am able to leave him I will get a restraining order against him so that he can't just pop up around me when ever he feels like it.
He can just see the kids and keep it at that. I am sort of afraid of what he might resort to doing if he does not get his way eventually. I'm not sure what I should do to protect my self
from him getting to me while I'm still living under the same roof with him. Please give any advice....I need help.
 

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If you are that afraid of physical retaliation you need to pack the kids and get out. Immediately get a restraining order and stay with family with whom you feel safe. You never stated if he has ever physically hurt you but if he has document the dates and circumstances. He is of a controlling personality so you must be strong when you leave. Let him know there is no going back and you are done. He has too many strikes against him.
 

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Hi Lavetta,

I sent you a private message regarding your situation.
 

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Hi, I also think that you should just take the kids and go to a shelter, deal with the abuse issues from a safe place. They will help you with legal stuff, financial stuff, and housing. It's not something to be ashamed of, but a first step to take FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR KIDS. Having your kids witness abuse is going to really do a number on them when they're older. But you can show them what a REAL woman does when she is abused, and walk. That's what you've gotta do.
 
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