[almostsingle30]

OK, a little background...

My husband starting acting weird and then told me he was unhappy in our marriage. Never said he was leaving, but just said he was unhappy. He was being distant, unloving, ect.

He told me he felt like we had nothing in common and that are sex life sucked (it did, we only did it once a month...)

He agreed to go to MC....We had two sessions and it opened up the communication. After the 3rd session I was just so sad. My husband hated seeing me so upset and it seemed to open him up and he realized how much our marriage was worth fighting for. He said he wasn't giving up and that we would get through this. That next week was good. On this past Saturday we spend the evening together going shopping, dinner, ect. That night he said "love you" and it felt so good to hear him say it.

The next day (Sunday) was ok, but I almost got the vibe that he regretted saying that he loved me. Like he let his gaurd down, ect..I think I Am reading too much into this, but it really has me down. He jokes with me all the time and said if he isn't joking with me then I should think something is up, because it is his personality to joke.

I guess I am just so drained. I want things to go back to normal and for me not to always be questioning if he is happy, is he going to leave, ect. I know I have to give it time, but it is so hard.

I often wonder, would i miss him or would I miss the idea of marriage and a intact family..I just don't know, I am so lost and sad. BLA

 

[Jellybeans]

Either you work on it together or you don't.

It takes a committment from both sides. Communicate.



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[almostsingle30]

I know...Sometimes I don't want to say anything because I am worried I will hear something I don't want to and also my husband has a history of making me say something instead of him having the balls to say it himself...

I don't want him to have the easy way out...The problem is actions speak louder then words...I think in his mind he is worried he told me he loves me, because he doesn't want me to think that everything is fine now and that he is happy, obviously they aren't..I just don't know..I think I am just going to start focusing on me and my boys and not over think anything too much.

 

[Highway run]

You are in the early stages of MC so stick it out. Take notes and bring this up at the next session. Don't rush things to be back to normal it will happen one day at a time.

 

[almostsingle30]

You are right...I just need you guys to keep reminding me of this...Take it slow, but I just WISH it would go back to "normal" and I would FEEL loved everyday, instead of wondering.." How does he feel, bla bla bla,...."

 

[HockeyGuy28]

My 2 cents...

I would say stop driving yourself crazy with all the wondering and letting your mind think certain things. It may make things worse for the relationship. Just ask him, talk to him, that is the best way.

If you sense he's hiding something then dig deeper to get him to talk about it. If you don't because your worried what he might say then how does that help the relationship? Does it make things better if he only thinks it and keeps it in his mind and keeps it from you? No. Your worried hes upset and your both not talking...

I actually have to admit that currently I am not talking to wife much. Every time we talk its a fight. My wife only talks to me about things she cares about, and most the time shes complaining about something, she doesn't ask me about the things I love or the activities in my life that matter a lot to me. So in my relationship what would really make me happy is if she just took the time to act like she cared and maybe asked me about things. Not sure this is the same problem or any help to you...

Make him spit it out...