Ok so I was here just over 2 years ago. The wife and I were on the verge of splitting up. We decided to get some councilling. My wife has zero sex drive. Says it's dirty and should only be for making babies. Funny she didnt mention this 5 years earlier when we met. Sex was fine in the beginning and I gather that is usually the case. She told me that being married would help her open up to me. Did nothing. There was always something I was doing that caused this. Nothing was working and we came to a point where we were fight all the time. Was right before a trip to Mexico. The week leading up to it she was done and didn't want to go. A few hours after the plane took off she was sorry and wamted to work on things. So we go to a marriage councillor and she just keeps bringing stuff up from her past to the point where the councillor said that we needed to deal with the things that were wrong with our relationship. I swear to god she played this game of chasing her tail and we never really dealt with anything. After about 6 sessions I said I had enough and was going to start talking about my problems which was mainly that our sexual relationship was terrible. An example: I have not had a passionate kiss since August 2010. I have not had any foreplay since then. This is before we went to councilling. Foreplay is like a sexual assault. I am trying to touch her and she is trying to stop me. Councilling went until the summer of 2011 when she decided that we could not get anymore help from the councillor. Nothing had changed and nothing had been dealt with. She decided she needed to see a different tharapist that she had seen before, Wow that was a year and a half ago. She has seen maybe 3 times in that time. She has said she wants to go see him again. My biggest problem is the no sex gets me all pissed of and i end up fighting with her about everything. When we started councilling I made an effort to try to stop letting this poison everything. An example is we went to mexico again recently and had zero sex. Nothing. And I didn't say a word. Now was I *****y and pissed off all the time we were there? Of course. But I didn't make it into a fight. So we have been home a few weeks now and we are really not even communicating about anything. I told a few days after we got back that I felt very unloved and she agreed that she needed to try to show it more and of course nothing becomes of it. So Friday night I have had enough and go to her and ask her if she is ever going to do anything about it. And she has done absolutely nothing about it. Nothing. She looks me in the eyes and says no. And everything changed for me in an instant. I went to her hoping to get some validation that she would try. And in that instant I realized that it was time to move on. Not that her not doing anything for 2 years was enough. Have I gave her enough time to work on this? Can sex be the deciding factor whether to end my marriage? It has poisoned every other part of our relationship. If someone see's it from her side I hope to hear something to explain why she would not try to me. I love her moree than anything in the world and took a vow to honor her through everything but it didnt say when she would not try change.
