DD,
Thanks, you make a lot of sense.
My problem is that in past relationships I've been the naive, trusting, fool who believes everything my significant other tells me while she was out sleeping around behind my back with god knows how many other men.
It has ruined me. I want to be that guy again because I feel like I am with the one I was meant to be with and someone who deserves unconditional love and trust.
I've been to therapy and counseling and I just can't get over it all. I have came a long way in the last year but I am afraid she is giving up on me might be tempted by someone else.
I feel you Anxious, TRUST ME, I DO!!!
I've been played for a fool too and it hurt like hell, because it was in a small town and everybody knew my EX was creeping but me. Here's the deal my friend, this might be a tough pill to swallow, but it's the God's honest truth and it took me years to learn it.... If a woman has made up her mind to cheat, she is going to cheat and there's not much you can do about it. But I've also learned that you can't get into a new relationship worrying about it all the time. Man, that's not good look for your health my friend, thinking about it all the time can drive a man crazy with jealousy, and women have a tendency to run away from the green-eyed monster if he shows up too many times with no proof.
What I would do if I were you, is I would just sit back and play it cool, I would trust but I would verify. Look into the signs of cheating and if something doesn't feel right then do a little investigating, but keep it on the down low. I always give people the benefit of the doubt until they give me a reason not to.
I know it's hard because of your past, but you have to try and find a way not obsess over it my friend, because all that tension is going eat you alive, and might cost you your marriage. You can be that guy again, and it starts by realizing, you have no control over what other people do, but you can control how you respond to what they do.
ME??? I always tell my lady how beautiful and special she is to me everyday, I wine and dine her so much that she doesn't even have time to think about another man. If you think you might be losing her, just go into your mack daddy mode and do something crazy and spontaneous with her, like blindfold her, turn off all the lights and give her a lap dance
Remind her why she married you, tell her you love her and surprise her. I found the best way to get over my fear of losing her is to keep the home fire burning and make sure I'm taking care of business on this end.
Good Luck