I need some help getting some objective views from people who don't know me or my wife.
My wife and I just got married about 6 months ago. We are both 25 (she's 6 months older) but we are both at totally different places in our lives. She works full time as a professional and is on her last quarter of getting her MBA. I am also a student but I am working towards a 2-year degree and am in the proccess of trying to apply to a 4-year program. Plus I work only 11-16 hours a week at a student job.
We have been having a lot of emotional tiffs (she says they're discussions and I call them arguments) with each other lately because of a lot of unsaid feelings between the two fo us.
The main issue is that as I am looking at 4-year programs I am looking to apply to schools all over the country. We live on the West coast and she has a contract with her work that if they pay for her school she has to stay with them for two years after she graduates. So for me to go to any school outside of the immediate area means that I would be going by myself and she would stay here.
This causes a lot of tension between us because I want to be accepted to a 4-year program (the degree I want is very competitive) but limiting my options to just our area lowers my chances significantly. At the same time she feels that I don't care, or at least don't care enough, about her feelings and our relationship when I talk about schools out of state.
A short backstory on us: She is a phenomenal student, straight A's from Kindergarten to her final quarter in her MBA program, and she makes it look so easy. I, on the other hand, have always struggled (high school dropout) and am now just finding success in academics which pumps up my ambition (and ego) to try to apply to schools that I want to go to. One school is in the area and is very selective the other is not great at all in my opinion. The other schools are out of state and more realistic in terms of acceptance and are good schools, and some just kind of fantasy schools.
She doesn't want me to resent her for keeping me here but when ever she thinks about me being away from her for 2-3 years it brings her to tears.
I want to be able to stay home and be with my wife but I also really want to go to a school that I want. The in state school is tough and I would pick an out of state over the bad school in state.
Is it wrong for me to want to go out of state (assuming I don't get what I want here); leaving my wife at home and probably putting our untested marriage through that much stress? It's not like anyone is forcing me to leave (i.e. military, job requirements), this is of my own desire to apply out of state to up my chances.
Am I just being selfish?
Is there anyone who has/had similar experiences or any advice?
My wife and I just got married about 6 months ago. We are both 25 (she's 6 months older) but we are both at totally different places in our lives. She works full time as a professional and is on her last quarter of getting her MBA. I am also a student but I am working towards a 2-year degree and am in the proccess of trying to apply to a 4-year program. Plus I work only 11-16 hours a week at a student job.
We have been having a lot of emotional tiffs (she says they're discussions and I call them arguments) with each other lately because of a lot of unsaid feelings between the two fo us.
The main issue is that as I am looking at 4-year programs I am looking to apply to schools all over the country. We live on the West coast and she has a contract with her work that if they pay for her school she has to stay with them for two years after she graduates. So for me to go to any school outside of the immediate area means that I would be going by myself and she would stay here.
This causes a lot of tension between us because I want to be accepted to a 4-year program (the degree I want is very competitive) but limiting my options to just our area lowers my chances significantly. At the same time she feels that I don't care, or at least don't care enough, about her feelings and our relationship when I talk about schools out of state.
A short backstory on us: She is a phenomenal student, straight A's from Kindergarten to her final quarter in her MBA program, and she makes it look so easy. I, on the other hand, have always struggled (high school dropout) and am now just finding success in academics which pumps up my ambition (and ego) to try to apply to schools that I want to go to. One school is in the area and is very selective the other is not great at all in my opinion. The other schools are out of state and more realistic in terms of acceptance and are good schools, and some just kind of fantasy schools.
She doesn't want me to resent her for keeping me here but when ever she thinks about me being away from her for 2-3 years it brings her to tears.
I want to be able to stay home and be with my wife but I also really want to go to a school that I want. The in state school is tough and I would pick an out of state over the bad school in state.
Is it wrong for me to want to go out of state (assuming I don't get what I want here); leaving my wife at home and probably putting our untested marriage through that much stress? It's not like anyone is forcing me to leave (i.e. military, job requirements), this is of my own desire to apply out of state to up my chances.
Am I just being selfish?
Is there anyone who has/had similar experiences or any advice?