Plan 9 when you put it that way it really does put it into a better perspective for me. I would say she is selfish in her own right but her choices have not had such an impact as mine have. The business i can sell and limit the impact of the money spent. My children are 17 and 15 so not quite adults. She was a stay at home mother but her family is about two hours from the place i was stationed. She does have family and friends here as well. To be honest except for the being a lazy loser part my other choices started with the best of intentions and. I don't feel any guilt for wanting to be near my children I am apologetic for the implementation.