[tomuchdrama]

I am feeling so hurt and conflicted right now. My husband of 9 years has been treating me like crap lately.

My husband has a full time 12 hour job. My husband started his own business about 3 years ago. He has always been a workaholic but he always made time for me. Now he doesn't even try anymore.


He makes plans with me and then goes off and does something else. And will comeback like nothing ever happened. He will go do jobs and be gone till 11 or 12 at night. Then come home and acts like everything is normal. At first I felt guilty for feeling like I was coming second. But things recently got worse.

Now when I call his cell he does not want to tell me where he is, he just says I'm on my way home. When he is home he is sleep or out working on orders for people.

When I said how I was feeling neglected and like he wanted to be free. He didn't deny it. He said he has bills to pay and he won't let anything come before his money.

What I'm I supposed to do with that? We have 2 small kids who need their father and I love my husband but it sure seems that he don't love me. So what do I do? :scratchhead::

 

[SlowlyGettingWiser]

If he has "always been a workaholic", then this is nothing new for you. You must realize that you and the kids are going to come in a far distant SECOND PLACE to money.

This is part of his adult personality; it is NOT going to change.

Only YOU can decide if you can continue to take being ignored. BUT, you are also choosing for your minor children! Although YOU may be willing to accept that things are what they are...and you can eventually just 'suck it up' and accept being unimportant in your husband's life, can you accept that for your children? Can you continue to watch your little ones be IGNORED daily by their own father?

I watched it happen with my own child, and it was heart-breaking! I finally realized that although I had come to terms with it, I had condemned her to a childhood of trying (fruitlessly) to get her father's attention.

Do you children a favor, and find a man who is EXCITED to be their father. Who thinks it's GREAT to teach them to catch/throw, chase lightning bugs in the summer, lie in the grass and look at clouds, goes to their games and recitals, takes them for pizza, BRAGS about them! Wouldn't your children be excited for THAT kind of life? The fact that this man impregnated you MAY make him their 'father', but it doesn't make him their 'Dad'.

Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[tomuchdrama]

I appreciate the feedback. I can tell that you have been down this road and know where all the potholes are. He is a really great father when he is around so I don't have a reason to hurt my children over our drama. But If things got too bad or if it wasn't healthy for my kids then I am out of there. Grease lightning!!