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it Has been a while since we’ve gone on a trip together and she keeps on mentioning that we should go on an all inclusive vacation again. I have been kind of disregarding it because I kind of want her to just plan it and tell me “hey we’re going here so pack your bags”…kind of how I did it with the 3 other trips prior.
Hi @Pacman1234, I believe that your fiancé expects you to take leadership in the relationship (Yes, you become the traditional guy), many women, even many feminists will expect the man to be traditional while they don't!

Here is my biggest advice for you: Do not do covert contracts!
From your post you seem to be doing this in your relationship!
Not a good sign at all!

Example: I bought her an expansive gift so I should expect her to do the same!
Example2: I organized and payed for 2 trips so I expect her to do the same!

Nope, doesn't work that way, be upfront and clear about your expectations!
Example: Babe, I booked us a nice trip for one week, btw the next trip is on you, smile and a kiss!

However, gifts should be from the heart with no expectations!

Read Dr. Glover's book (you will thank me years later): No More Mr. Nice Guy (No it's not about making you a jerk, far from it, read the reviews)
You can download the PDF for free, but I would buy the e-book/book simply because it's worth every cent to support the author who helped millions!
 

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Hi @Pacman1234, I believe that your fiancé expects you to take leadership in the relationship (Yes, you become the traditional guy), many women, even many feminists will expect the man to be traditional while they don't!

Here is my biggest advice for you: Do not do covert contracts!
From your post you seem to be doing this in your relationship!
Not good sign at all!

Example: I bought her an expansive gift so I should expect her to do the same!
Example2: I organized and payed for 2 trips so I expect het to do the same!

Nope, doesn't work that way, be upfront and clear about your expectations!
Example: Babe, I booked us a nice trip for one week, btw the next trip is on you, smile and a kiss!

However, gifts should be from the heart with no expectations!

Read Dr. Glover's book (you will thank me years later): No More Mr. Nice Guy (No it's not about making you a jerk, far from it, read the reviews)
You can download the PDF for free, but I would buy the e-book/book simply because it's worth every cent to support the author who helped millions!
You do seem to be making covert contracts..

Please don't do that. Spending other peoples money without consent is a a bad idea.

Try communicating ahead of time.
 

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Call me old fashioned but I’d say the way out of your situation is to get married and get your joint account going. Then you can pay for the trip with the income she brings in and she feels like you’re the man making it happen. Unless you don’t want to.

Why aren’t you married now?
 

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Hey everyone. This is my first time posting on this forum so I’m hoping to get a bit of advice. I’m 32M and my fiancé is 30F have been together for approximately 4 years (we don’t live together). We are both working full time jobs and making decent incomes as well (she currently makes more than I do). I’d say we have a pretty equal relationship and both carry our own weight and can “somewhat” talk openly with each other. We don’t fight/yell/scream at each other or purposely disregard each other’s feelings.

the main reason I am posting is is because it revolves around money/finances. We don’t spend a lot of money buying each other small gifts thought the years, but I have bought her a new laptop as well as a new phone earlier in the relationship which was a hefty price. On top of that we have gone on 3/4 trips together as well all in which I sorted out and spent the money on (one of the trips being where I proposed and gave a pretty expensive ring). I did cover hotel cost, Airbnb and the food cost when we were at the destination was split pretty evenly. One of the trips I ended up getting roughly a $3500 gift card from work and I ended up paying the difference out of my pocket when I could of probably used the cash for something else but I really wanted to go on a trip together. She does pay for meals, our joint phone bill and stuff whenever we go out so that’s no concern.

it Has been a while since we’ve gone on a trip together and she keeps on mentioning that we should go on an all inclusive vacation again. I have been kind of disregarding it because I kind of want her to just plan it and tell me “hey we’re going here so pack your bags”…kind of how I did it with the 3 other trips prior.

I don’t expect lots of gifts or for her to buy me expensive things as I usually just buy whatever I want for myself but there are some things that do “bug” me. One being is that I kind of wished I would of received something from her to remember our engagement by as how I got her a diamond ring as well as took her on a trip and surprised her with the proposal. I don’t even care if it’s a simple keychain with a date, or a $50 watch for that matter. Now she keeps on saying things like “we should go on a vacation”, “We should go to Jamaica next”…etc.

Money is definitely not an issue for either of us but I kind of hope she would take some matters into her own hands and reciprocate when it comes to going on another trip to pick up the expense. Now that Christmas is around the corner I asked what would you like for Christmas and she said I don’t want any material things but I want to get away you for a weekend or go on vacation…and again I kind of disregarded it because I don’t want to pay for it.

I understand that the proposal trip we went on was on me because I wanted to do it for her. Let’s just say That total trip cost including the ring was $15k+…i Kind of wished she would see the things I have done for her and would plan something similar in return.

she is not a bad person at all, she treats me with love and respect and I can tell that she cares for me…just this trip thing is really bothering me

I hope I provided enough information…if there is anything else, feel free to ask. But how would I approach this situation?

thank you!
I think you are over thinking it. It seems to be a matter of yours and her perception. First of all, tell your fiancé clearly what is going in your mind because it is very important to fix it as soon as possible. Maybe she's looking to spend more quality time with you instead of spending money on gifts or anything else. But you will have to talk to your fiancé to make it more clear.
 
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