[foxyone]

Okay so i met my husband and after one month we got married, another month went by and he insisted on having a baby. as soon as i got pregnant he sent me back home to my parents in Canada. I was living and working in dubai UAE.
Now before we got married i was fully in love and he was a different person. after we got married i found out many things he lied about and didn't tell me, as well as he changed. I wanted to make it work so i thought a baby would fix things. however during my stay in canada he kept pushing me away from him. and i eventually ended up falling in love with my friends brother and we were so madly in love. I asked for a divorce which he guilted me into not doing because he threatened suicide. he came to canada and i wasn't happy. i had the baby and all i wanted to do is be with the man i really loved but couldn't because of the marriage.

Now i find myself very depressed and sad all the time because i am unhappy about the marriage i told him many many times i don't love him and want a divorce, i even asked my parents for help but they all think i am insane and depressed from having the baby however. ITS NOT THAT. now they r sending me to therapy and putting me on medication. I hate that i have to keep pretending to be happy when i am really miserable inside. My husband says he won't let me go and if i ever left him i ruined his life and blah blah....

I don't know what to do no one believes me and they don't understand it is no longer about the other man which whom the relationship i ended. it is about me wanting to be happy and i feel i would be much happier single and alone than stuck in a loveless marriage.

 

[Numb in Ohio]

After one month you were married,,, you definitely didn't give each other a chance to get to know the other person. You did not marry out of love,, more so, just attraction.

 

[PAC]

After one month you were married,,, you definitely didn't give each other a chance to get to know the other person. You did not marry out of love,, more so, just attraction.

:iagree:

Don't get confused between love and attraction. Love has attraction in it, but attraction is not love. It sounds like you are attracted / infatuated with this other guy.

Regardless of how it happened, you are married now. It is disrespectful to your husband, the other guy, yourself, and your child to have any sort of affair. You really need to stop with this other guy.

You need to give your marriage a chance. Are you giving your husband the chance to try and make things work? You made a commitment at the alter, and even further cemented that commitment when you had a baby with your husband. Your child and husband deserve your efforts in trying to make things work. Only once you have given your marriage the best effort you can, should you even consider divorce.

I can't emphasize enough how much having a fling with another person will destroy your marriage. You can't devote yourself to making your marriage work if you are still thinking about this other person. Try and get your husband to go to marriage counseling with you, read books on how to make marriage work, and try to be as clear and honest to your husband as possible.

 

[PAC]

Now i find myself very depressed and sad all the time because i am unhappy about the marriage i told him many many times i don't love him and want a divorce, i even asked my parents for help but they all think i am insane and depressed from having the baby however. ITS NOT THAT. now they r sending me to therapy and putting me on medication. I hate that i have to keep pretending to be happy when i am really miserable inside. My husband says he won't let me go and if i ever left him i ruined his life and blah blah....

Stop focusing on the negative aspects of everything. Pity parties will not help you. Going to therapy is a good idea, and if you are depressed, being on medication isn't a bad thing. You don't have to pretend to be happy, but you also don't have to put so much emphasis on how negative things are.

Why don't you tell your husband what you want from him? He may not have any clue what you would like. And instead of telling him that you don't love him, tell him what you want from him. Love is a emotion, but it is also a choice. Choose to do your best to love your husband and child.

 

[Emerald]

Now i find myself very depressed and sad all the time

Please think about your baby; you need to be well to take care of the baby. I think medication & therapy will be good for you.

 

[IrishGirlVA]

it is about me wanting to be happy and i feel i would be much happier single and alone than stuck in a loveless marriage.

Ummm, I think this is where you should start. Jumping from one frying pan into another is just not healthy. I know you are resentful that your family put you into therapy and you are now on meds but I promise you that one day you will be thanking them. Regardless of the reasons why they think you need therapy (pregnancy hormones/postpartum depression) the fact is you DO need it.

Getting married after a month?
Believing a child will fix a broken marriage?
Having an affair while still pregnant?

Honestly, my only regret for you is that you didn't seek counseling before you got married. But you now have that chance and I urge you, for the sake of yourself and your child, that you get the help you need. Embrace it instead of resenting it. And please take time away from all romantic interests until you get the help you need. If your friend's brother loves you as much as you say you love him then he will be waiting for you in the end.

Wishing you peace.