[Cee Paul]

So if you sit down at night to watch a program that you've been wanting to see all week long buuuuut it gets interrupted not once, not twice, not even three times, but a toal of 8 or 9 times by the cat jumping on the table and pulling & chewing on the blinds to the point where it has to be paused that many times to get him to stop - WHAT would be your reaction finally(happy or angry)??

Then to top it off your spouse tells you that you're not allowed to yell at him and not allowed to put him in another room to make him stop, and the show finally gets ruined because of it!

 

[Sbrown]

Do you always obey your spouse? That cat would have ended up outside quickly!
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[2ntnuf]

catnip, a laser pointer, food, outside, etc.

 

[67flh]

hmmm,25 cent cat,you figure it out.

 

[Pandakiss]

I would have just turned it off. Try getting a water squirt bottle and spray the cat. Cats hate that or get a box, cats love boxes.

Personally I would have thrown a shoe or somethin. I've had 4 cats. They all have learned not to do sh!t by me.

But....cat treats in the kitchen or cat nip in another room. Maybe a cat house. Maybe cat toys.

Our last cat was such a dog. If the kids were eating he would just jump on the table and eat off their plates. He would knock their milk over.

We solved this by feeding him special food. One of those pouched cat foods that are fish like. He stopped bothering the kids when they ate.

Get another cat or small dog??? They will occupy each other. Another though get a cat bed like a pillow and spray it with cat nip petco sells it, and put older not worn shirts (one from each of you) in the cat bed. He or she will be more opted to go over to it.

 

[CanadianGuy]

Go out tomorrow and get the biggest fn dog you can find.

 

[Mavash.]

I'd be pissed. My cats needs do not come before mine.

 

[that_girl]

Throw the cat at my wife.

lol. Kidding.

But I would have told her to "shhh" and dealt with the cat.

 

[Cee Paul]

I'd be pissed. My cats needs do not come before mine.

Exactly, but if left upto her the cats rule and we must just sit back and take it. But the solution is(and I've done this before)to pick the cat up and put him in our bedroom and shut the damn door, but she says that is too cruel and forbids me to do that anymore nor does she want me yelling at him either. So as most of you know I am having mega problems in my marriage right now and we fight all the time, so I have started taking some meds and switched to de-caf to see if that will keep me a lot more calm, and maybe prevent all of this arguing that keeps taking place. Buuuuuut when you are put in a spot like I was tonight where "show's over and the cat wins" because of HER freakin way of doing things, I once again blew my top and cursed her and the cat out and went into the den and gave up on watching the damn show!

 

[earlyforties]

Throw the cat at my wife.

lol. Kidding.

But I would have told her to "shhh" and dealt with the cat.

Throw the wife at the cat.

 

[Cee Paul]

Throw the wife at the cat.

I was hoping for REAL opinions and not something a few of you fantasize about doing - lol.

 

[earlyforties]

I was hoping for REAL opinions and not something a few of you fantasize about doing - lol.

OK, maybe that should be plan B.

Do get the cat some toys and play with it. Two things will follow. The cat will be stimulated and calm down. Your wife will be stimulated that you have shown interest and care in something that means a lot to her (cat) and she will do nice things for you!

It's the cost of a few cat toys and you trying to take control of the situation in a positive non anger way will mightily impress the wife.

If it doesn't work... plan B

 

[2ntnuf]

Can you record the show you like?

The box thing will work for a while. The spray bottle of water works, especially with vinegar, but the thing is you want to keep that cat busy. You don't want to punish him.

He really is just being a cat. They like to lay on something like a towel in a clothes basket. Remember, they sleep all day and get up probably when your show comes on.

Maybe you can play with the cat and wear him out a little before your show comes on?

 

[2ntnuf]

Hey, there's more than one way to skin a cat.

:rofl:

 

[KathyBatesel]

So if you sit down at night to watch a program that you've been wanting to see all week long buuuuut it gets interrupted not once, not twice, not even three times, but a toal of 8 or 9 times by the cat jumping on the table and pulling & chewing on the blinds to the point where it has to be paused that many times to get him to stop - WHAT would be your reaction finally(happy or angry)??

Then to top it off your spouse tells you that you're not allowed to yell at him and not allowed to put him in another room to make him stop, and the show finally gets ruined because of it!

Obviously your wife's idea of what is cruel is pretty bizarre. I'd tell her to find three experts who say that it's cruel to put a cat in a 10'x10' room for an hour if she wants me to abide by her definition of cruel, or to get your vet's agreement that this response is cruel. But in any case, this is NOT about cruelty to the cat. It's about the two of you are both on a warpath to destroy the other and prove yourselves superior.

When it's more about being "right" than about finding win-win solutions to problems, then your relationship gets into serious trouble.

For your part, I can see that you're probably sarcastic and belittling toward her. Stop that 100% no matter how frustrated you get if you want your relationship to survive. Instead, have a calm discussion where you tell your wife that you want her to feel good about the way you care for her and the animals, and tell her that it's not fair to expect the cats to decide how your household operates. Therefore, if she will not let you put them into a room temporarily, you'll accept any solution she provides as long as it solves the problem at least 80% of the time, but that if she cannot find that solution within a certain amount of time, then you will conclude she's unable to fix the problem and so you will.

 

[Cee Paul]

Just for the record:

- the cat has a whole basket full of toys(and it's 11 years old and not still a kitten)

- when the cats wants full attention he usually does this

- not allowed to use spray bottles or of course throw anything at the cat

- not allowed to yell at the cat or it will cause a fight between us

- and lastly......I very calmly suggested putting him in the bedroom because that does work, but again she said no to that and said it was cruel


Add all of that up and it = me blowing my stack finally after EIGHT times him in the blinds and her letting him which then = tv show WE were watching over and ruined!!

 

[Cee Paul]

When a kitten is being bad, the mom will carry it by the back of the neck. This harmlessly paralyzes it and sends the signal *you are doing bad things! * This works if the cat is older too, just take the scruff and pull solidly but NOT roughly, and watch it turn to putty. Say "no!" clearly. Do this immediately after its been naughty. Do it close to the ground, too. If the cat is big, you could hurt it by lifting by scruff alone.

Thanks but it's not a kitten nor is it the first cat either one of us have ever owned, and she's had about 10 in her lifetime and we always had 2 or 3 growing up in my house as well as dogs.

 

[TBT]

No TV in the den or bedroom as an alternative?

 

[Sbrown]

Exactly, but if left upto her the cats rule and we must just sit back and take it. But the solution is(and I've done this before)to pick the cat up and put him in our bedroom and shut the damn door, but she says that is too cruel and forbids me to do that anymore nor does she want me yelling at him either. So as most of you know I am having mega problems in my marriage right now and we fight all the time, so I have started taking some meds and switched to de-caf to see if that will keep me a lot more calm, and maybe prevent all of this arguing that keeps taking place. Buuuuuut when you are put in a spot like I was tonight where "show's over and the cat wins" because of HER freakin way of doing things, I once again blew my top and cursed her and the cat out and went into the den and gave up on watching the damn show!

No, you lose because your obviously afraid of your wife. My wife would only "forbid" me to do something ONCE! Next time she is out of the house. Load the cat up and take it to the pound! Stand up and be the man of your house or you will continue to lose your marriage!

 

[Trying2figureitout]

Stand up to your wife!
The cat distraction needed dealt with... BTW I HATE CATS!

Did I say...

STAND UP TO YOUR WIFE! Not the cat. The cat was being a cat... evil but that's another story. This is between you and your wife.

Also get a handle on you ANGER issue quick...that makes you weak, winy and look like a blowhard.
Grow up and control your emotions. Your life is out of sync...

Key is to NEVER show anger simply state facts and hold the wife accountable. Stand firm and don't ever back down when you now you are in the right. Let her know what YOUR will tolerate and what you won't.

My wife does not 'enjoy" me standing up to her... until later.
I'm in a temporary sexless marriage so for me there is no downside.
This will be what turns mine sexual again.... correct the dynamics.

You are on the fast track towards ILYNILWY and a sexless marriage.
Start training your wife you are in charge and the final say.
She needs you to lead her always in the house.

Right now she leads and secretly or overtly deeply resents that...she enjoyed the cat messing with you.
Women can be cruel... wait until she withholds sex too that's the next step. Because you are weak and noneffective at handling her. She doesn't RESPECT you more than the cat...how lame is THAT!

YOUR FAULT!

Dude get more alpha quick at key moments.
You teach your wife how you are treated. Again all on you she's just reacting to what you taught her. Change up the lesson plan quick. Do her a favor.

This incident is over wait for the next one get prepared.
Don't worry a couple times you'll have her trained... mine is.

She now cares about if I get to watch football.... LOL.
She now trips over herself apologizing when I call out bad behaviors.
She'll eventually care I get my sex I need... matter of time.