Please ask a moderator to have your post moved to the Coping with Infidelity forum. The reason is, many members who have suffered infidelity, some of whom (like myself) have reconciled with their spouses after they were in an emotional affair, only frequent that forum. So they won't see your post here, unfortunately.Actually I did contact the Husband of the other woman a couple weeks ago. Supposedly he confronted them and their response was that I was making everything up to cause drama. He then proceeded to block me on email, facebook , etc.
You were brave to contact your frenemy's husband--many people do not choose to take that step but it is a vital one to get the affair to end. Unfortunately, it sounds to me like you did it too soon, and without adequate evidence. This is a common rookie mistake. Now you are going to have a more difficult time reaching out to him, but this is still the next step to take.
What hard evidence do you have of them communicating with each other? Do they ever manage to see each other? Unfortunately if he's moved out of your home, you may now have to resort to tailing them and taking photos yourself (not a very good option), or hiring a private detective to establish that the affair is going on.
It sounds like you've also lost the ability to expose to his family, evidently they have either taken his side because he's lied to them, or they have been undermining your marriage all along and now that he's left you they are supporting him in this.
Your "friend" is laughing at you behind your back, she probably spends lots of time insulting you to when she speaks to your husband and commiserating with him on what a poor choice of wife he made. You are NOT going to wake her up in any way. Any attempts to reach out to her are going to be met with scorn and disgust at how pathetic you are. I don't say that to be cruel to you, because you are anything but pathetic--you are a human being who loves her husband and has been HORRIBLY betrayed by this woman and she is evil itself for doing this to you. But she is far beyond reason now and is a waste of your energy in terms of direct confrontations / communications.
What is your financial situation? Is your husband working to support you, still? Or when you say he's cut you off, does this mean he's abandoned you--moved out, in hiding, etc.? If you could give us more detail about that. Thanks.